How could i let myself sleep

Everytime I close my eyes,
Youre always there.
pinning me down with your lies,
Making me feel powerless and scared.

you tie me to a bed,
Laugh and pull out a blade,
you push it against my neck,
Warning me to behave.

I scream in pain,
As you push the blade I deep.
Cringe angry tears because
I let myself sleep.

Everytime I wake,
With tear filled eyes.
My boys right beside me
Telling me not to cry.
He calms me down
And tries to make me see.
that youre Nothing but a bad dream.

I know you arent real,
But that doesnt change a thing.
Cause when I close my eyes again,
Theres no use in trying to stop you,
When you say "let the games begin."