Broken ghost

Hehehe mistake again.....thank you very much!!
did not notice that....

"I move closely
as you close your eyes,"
Good start. Really intense and intimate..

"in your hand a picture of me
with you at the eastern sunrise."
Great imagery and word choice

"i shed your sour tears
with my transparent cold hands,
i did kiss your red lips
but the current has gone."
Wow..

"fate was cruel for us,
my destiny comes to a period."
Really thought-provoking. Perhaps you've stopped trying and finally gave up when you lost her..

"is it greediness if ask
one more chance to
live again with you?"
Add 'I' between if and ask.
The ending is my favorite part.. Very sad. Hopeful and hopeless at the same time.

I like that your perspective was that of a ghost--an essence of someone who died. Really interesting piece. 5/5 Keep writing :)

-X