Rented Heart

by Meme   Apr 17, 2012


Looking for a new
place to call home;
that's how you found
me. You packed all
your memories and
moved into my heart,
unpacked all your
aches on my shoulders.

Together we furnished
the path of love; you
even picked the colors
of every moment we
shared. I gave you the
freedom to remodel
my life only because
I thought you are not
renting anymore.

I signed the papers
for a lifetime of love,
but you demolished me
just like I predicted
you will. Yes, you
walked away carrying
everything but I promise
I will build myself a new
heart from scratch since
all you ever wanted was a
-rented heart.

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© Copyright 2012 by: gIrL
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2


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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Alanis

    Wow! This poem left me gaping! This is a one of a kind poem

  • 12 years ago

    by LoVerSLaND

    5/5.
    Really beautiful n simple.

  • 12 years ago

    by Blissful

    I really enjoyed the beginning of this poem. I could relate to your words of nurturing a heart that was looking for a new home which was burned from a past love. I like how you incorporated the concept of "renting" and were consistent in the way you presented it.

    The poem would be stronger if the last stanza didn't repeat the word "heart" so many times. I know that it was the emphasis of the poem but I think it became redundant towards the end. Everything was great about this poem until that final stanza. Just read over the final stanza and take away a couple of the hearts, it takes away the emotion from the poem, in my opinion. Overall, great job!

    • 12 years ago

      by Meme

      Took away one "heart" the other two are impossible to remove, tried to fix it :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Wicked Ways

    Wow! that was amazing... I LOVE the idea. Nice poem and I really liked how you wrote it... very deep and meaningful poem in such an awesome way....... :) nice work

  • 12 years ago

    by Something Diabolical

    I really enjoyed reading this poem
    though a sad subject your use of metaphors were really good
    I like the whole idea of your heart being "rented" like a flat/house... descriptive wise that is..

    a very good read.

    keep it up!