Walking without crutches

by Thomas   Apr 19, 2012


Girl just let them talk
Let their eyes judge
The way you walk
At least you can without a crutch

The crutch they need
Is based on our society
It's composed of anger, hate and greed
It's all about property

You walk, you dance
Do it with emotion, passion
Seemingly in a trance
Not caring about the current fashion

And there is one thing you know
You will always have me
Be the first in the row
The first you will see

While the others want nothing more
But to see you grovel and cry
I want to build you up from the core
Lift you up and let you reach for the sky

And at the end of the day
When you feel tired and weak
I'll take it al away
And give your body what it really seeks

While the world is asleep
We'll be unfolding our dark secrets
Unlike those other sheep
We enjoy life without regrets

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Excellent flow, easy rhymes. Very encouraging and fabulously written. The title grabbed me simply and the piece itself certainty didn't disappoint

  • 12 years ago

    by KRYSTAL B

    GREAT POEM :)

  • 12 years ago

    by DeviousCharmer

    Sooo true , nicely written :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Silent Girl

    Really good poem :) 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    The title: Walking without crutches really captured my attention. I was curious about what symbolism you'd use with crutches. But could you capitalize the 'w' and 'c' on without and crutches respectively? I'm sorry but I notice small things today.
    Overall this piece has a nice message. I second what Dagmar have said. As far as the structure and context, the rhymes were somehow forced. I read it twice, actually. First, while acknowledging the rhymes and second, ignoring the rhymes.
    Take this stanza for example:

    'The crutch they need
    Is based on our society
    It's composed of anger, hate and greed
    It's all about property'

    I won't go on with the message, as it is good. But I feel the forced rhymes undermined the actual content. The syllable counts are: 4, 8; 9, 7
    You might know about that already, and I'm neither mocking nor insulting, but if you read it aloud it sounds awkward, hence forced rhyme. Sorry, just had to explain that. If you already knew that, then I suggest you should definitely follow that.
    Message-wise, I enjoyed reading this. A little typo on 'all' by the way.
    I see a lot of potential and I'm just giving you a little push. A bit editing and tweaking here and there would make this piece better. Keep writing :)
    -X

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