Hell

by brandonxx   Apr 21, 2012


The gates are black and covered in thorns.
Beyond those gates hell is reborn.
the lake of fire covers the souls, and all people are trapped in a bowl.
the ashes arise and cover the castle.
He emerges from the smoke with no hassle.
Black craters for eyes and a blood covered face.
cold as ice but breathe as hot as the sun.
pain is his pleasure and hate is his power.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by brandonxx

    Hey thanks

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Great imagery, I just love reading poems like this.

    "people are trapped in a bowl."
    A bowl? I know you're trying to rhyme it, but it would have been better if you change it.

    "He emerges from the smoke whit no hassle."
    typo: whit--with

    "cold as ice but breathe as hot as the sun."
    breathe is a verb. Breath is the noun. I suggest you revise this line.

    Overall, a great piece with vivid imagery. Great write :) 5/5 Keep writing!

    -X

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