Plastic made dreamzz

by CryingHeart   Apr 22, 2012


Sugar coating my every thought,
So that you don't taunt,
Revising my every lie,
Just because you cant stand by........
Smiling at your fake life
Cause simplicity, you cant survive,
Yes dear i am talking to you!
Talking to the one i believed was true.....
But now i see all you have are plastic made dreamzz
Go on leave
I'll still be stong,,
Nothing more then a penny you were
Worthless
I am better off without you

0


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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Ms Happiness

    I agree there is a strong msg here.
    Sad poem but well written, good job:)

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    "Sugar coating my every thought,"
    It'll be better if you put a hyphen between sugar and coating.

    "But now i see all you have are plastic made
    dreamzz"
    Again, a hyphen between plastic and made. Hmm.. I'd rather you change 'dreamzz' to dreams. But the way you put it kinda left your signature in this piece.. nice.

    "Nothing more then a penny you were
    Worthless"
    then--than

    "I am better off without you"
    Yes.. so true. Sometimes letting go is the hardest part. What I really like in this piece is the strong message. Great job^^ 5/5 Keep writing!

    -X