Angel of Your Darkness (Diabolus)

Totally awesome :)

Love the flow and rhymes, great piece. 5/5 :)

"Her grace had fallen from her days
enchanted by the dawns early ways"
---Hmm.. I knew you were going to spoil us with your sick rhyming. I like the beginning lines, as I am fond of this sort of story-telling poems, with dark imagery and stuff. My only suggestion here is the 'dawns'=dawn's.
"except what you might expect of heart-ships
and tears
as her very silence seemed to kill the
violence of her years"
---Seems like the twist you put in sleeping beauty's story is that she had a rough past. 'Heart-ships'? I haven't heard of that, perhaps hardships?
"her eyes were the color of faraway love
stained by the stars by the very thing she
was dreaming of"
---WOW.. Definitely my favorite part. The poetic way you've penned this and the subtle rhyme, since 'love' and 'of' aren't perfect rhymes, it still worked really well.
"innocent in her dreaming in forlorn lore
as her dreaming rattled her to her very core
her eyes were now the open door
as all the questions she wished to implore
the heart that tore, she shamefully wore
her own right to end her personal war"
---Repetition sometimes does your poem a favor, but in my opinion, the lines you chose to repeat kind of pulled your piece down. It just seems too forced here, and a monorhyme is hard to accomplish without sounding forced.
After that^^I honestly thought it was going down hill from there, but you've managed to fight back with the next lines:
"Pestilent the sickness stayed
her pages torn and frayed
in the book that she learned and prayed"
---I love the word 'pestilent' and how you used it elegantly here.
"Lish queen the angel of the dark
in the sleeping dreaming left the angel's
mark"
---I don't quite understand these lines. Lish means slick/lithe/fast, I think. 'In the sleeping dreaming...'?? I suggest you revise that line.
"she is poetry, she is reason
she is sleeping through the season
of winter's heart, in her bloody art
that she was bleeding from the start"
---I love this. The rhymes flowed really well, and it holds a creepy message. Nice
"sleeping beauty, my Lish queen
the fallen angel, devilishly unclean"
---Again, the word 'lish'.. Or perhaps, it's a name? Is it? But if it was it would've been queen Lish. Hmm..
"to awaken her to a life of joy
to the puppet girl so used to being a toy"
---Forced rhyme here, but I like the message. She is the 'queen', as you've said throughout the poem, but then, she has always been the 'puppet girl'. I suggest you eradicate a few words in the last line here, so it'll flow better. My suggestion: "as the puppet girl used to being a toy" That would be better.
"I longed to free her of her hurt, however
her dreaming went on forever"
---I love that you added a persona, neat. And I think you're the only poet here who'd cut a line awkwardly (leaving 'however' on the first line) to make it rhyme and get away with it lol. Great job!
Hope to read more of this. Keep it up
-X

Sad piece indeed, I like the rhymes that I could spot whin the poem also the repetition on this one was good and your choice of words and tone fits perfectly.

The title is nice The angel of your darkness. I feel that it goes really well with the content.