Sighs..... Jenni, I just have to comment in my own way here...You have written your heart on paper and it sings beautiful...touching sadness with leaving the reader in a sigh....well done

Jenni, What can I say? This piece is simply amazing. You had feeling running throughout the poem from the very first line. You really spoke to my heart with this piece and I felt every word you said. There is something so raw yet beautiful about this.

5/5

Yesterday, or one of
these nights, I took that part
of our hearts, that is connected
and painted the love gold
like all things growing old.
^
I LOVE the rhyme of 'old' and 'gold' made me so interested! I know that the poem is a bit personal but I could relate to it somehow. Like there are lots of similes that I understood really well which is a great thing, sweetie.
However, I don't seem to like the repetition of 'that' so I would advise you to fix it! ;D

But I soon realized that the
only bedfellow I currently have
is solitude,
^
I just loved this line. So poetic and inspirational, I love the use of bedfellow, you used a more intimate word than just 'friend' or 'companion' and that was so smart! XD I also love the use of 'mellow' something new and makes sense.

Sometimes it is tough
to distinguish past and present;
however, I wish you wouldn't stay
when you're leaving..
^
Love the contradiction!
You are wonderful!

Then again, it's not your fault.
I made staying unbearable
and though we're separated,
I still want you.
^
I cannot imagine how sad this could be. You nailed it, Jennie. So much regret.

The ending was a gmgdgjgmgmgm.d,jtgajgmg! A killer! This must be nominated on Monday. Amazing write, and I am sorry my comment isn't that detailed. On my phone! Mwa.

Jenni this is beautifully sad. I love how you have emotionally connected to the reader. My heart goes out to you. The way you have written this makes me just want to reach out and hold you myself. I love the first stanza. It made me think of two people in love growing old together. I think that is a lovely image. The sadness throughout the poem is so evident.

An awesome write Jenni. Loved it completely

x

Oh dear Jenni....this poem pains me to read...I have been in these situations before and every stanza hit home to me...love is a tricky thing..

Sometimes it is tough
to distinguish past and present;
however, I wish you wouldn't stay
when you're leaving..

^ Loved this stanza soooo much...its like a womans cry for the man to leave her heart and mind, thats what I got out of your word stay here, because he's leaving in the physical form, but the sucky thing is they dont truly leave our thoughts..

Help me get rid of
my second shadow
as it holds me back,
darkens who I am
or rather want to be

^ *tears*....I think its good that you have recognized here that something was holding you back....the use of darken really was amazing as thats really what a shadow actually does do to a person! I liked it because it was as if the shadow was your excuse and the way you described your excuse here was just beautiful...

Your last few lines just added to the sadness, because again, sooo relateable! We get so angry at ourselves and upset that we messed up a good thing that its hard to show the person we are still thankful for getting the chance to love them....

Gosh I loved this Jenni. I have to nominate it!

Jenni, is it realy u wrote dis one..
I am askin, cz mstly u cum up wid such hard vocab and metaphors..
Bt by writing dis one,u hlpd me to comment..
I js lvd dis one..adding to my fav's..

And know that even
if I don't show it
I'm really thankful

because I never thought
there'd be someone like
you

^^^ this part touched my heart, not that I want to sound cheesy but when I finished reading those lines my heart felt a warming gesture and I felt like crying.
I was imagine you telling this to someone and opening up your feelings to that someone for the first time. And I know how hard it is to open up and say how we feel and sometimes it's even tougher to show it.

Very good

Love the choice of words jenni! My Favourite part
"And know that even
if I don't show it
I'm really thankful

because I never thought
there'd be someone like
You. "
Very touching poem!

Jenni, this is lovely, sad yet very lovely, words are written perfectly because it came from the heart, nothing can be more honest than that... Geez! What a mushy comment, but hey! I meant what I said, lol. Great, Jenni, great. :D

Heyy Jenni,

I absolutely love this poem , it had a sad tone to it, and I loved how it developed more in the middle and ended it with a simple but powerful line... nice work on this

5/5

Best poem from youuuuuuuuu!