Bloody Hope

by Lofallenve   Apr 30, 2012


And she stares down at the bloodied ground,
Her heart lifeless now, its beats, a dim memory.
How can one survive with a heart in this condition?
Decimated and desecrated, love can be infectious.
Her heart's domicile, made of her ribcage, ripped out,
Bones lying on the floor, all askew, some broken.
The tears that descent from her eyes, pours down like the rain,
They fall upon the ground, scorching the very places they land.
Beneath her teary veil, she stares down at her empty chest,
At the blackness, that stares back from deep within, staring.
As she takes a closer look, the blackness shifts in its color,
Like a chameleon changing from the color of the tree, to leaves.
The color changes to russet, with the subtle hint of a smile, his eyes.
The sight of him, her chest seems to tighten, blood seeps to the floor.
Her trembling knees give out, his name whispering, across her chapped lips.
Her nails dig into the ground, they rip off,
As his whispering name, becomes a scream, a desperate plea.
His laughter drifts around the room, like a haunting phantom.
Her cobalt eyes drift shut, tears laced with pain, still spilling.
The way his body lined hers, asleep in their dreams, his touch.
With the help of imagination, a touch of desperation,
He is there, a ghost, built up out of memories.
Hope gently touches her heart, a pathetic attempt at a beat.
As a butterfly to flower, her eyes flutter open.
Alas, she wasn't hearing things, her heart beat, once again.
Hope whispered things, tried to make them okay.
Her heart starts to race; the memories start to play.
She clutches onto him, the last of her life left; hope,
She grips tightly, she cannot let go, it is all she has.
Whispering his name over, and over in a chant,
Her eyes take her to sleep, dreams take her from reality,
To his arms, to what things could have been, what they will be.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Max

    This is gr8 i love the start alot
    the ending is stunning i love the way u ended it
    the word choice is gr8 and the flow is cool too
    this is totally amazing i love it
    5/5
    good job =)

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    "And she stares down at the bloodied
    ground,
    Her heart lifeless now, its beats, a dim
    memory."
    ---I'm really fond of the way you started this with the word 'and'. I have a few poems written before with that start, as if the poem skipped to the sad part, leaving the 'real' beginning to the reader's imagination.
    "Her heart's domicile, made of her ribcage,
    ripped out,
    Bones lying on the floor, all askew, some
    broken."
    ---I can easily picture this, this may be a metaphoric part, but I really like the imagery created here. However, you could make this part shorter. Either way, I quite like it..
    "Her nails dig into the ground, they rip off,
    As his whispering name, becomes a scream,
    a desperate plea"
    ---What I picture here is, the persona claws at the ground, where 6 feet under lies the body of her loved one..
    "Her eyes take her to sleep, dreams take her
    from reality,
    To his arms, to what things could have
    been, what they will be."
    ---I don't know why, but the "her eyes take her to sleep" part is not really good, in my opinion. It would be better to revise/change that. Contrary to that, I like the ending line. Dreams are magical. They take you to places and people out of your reach. Unlike, thoughts, they are effortless, you just have to stay afloat.
    Overall, a great read. Keep writing :)
    -X

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