Suns and Hours; nothing else

by Sunshine   May 2, 2012


Losing the ray between the sky and I,
it's fading away into powder, into soil and wind,
falling like ginger leaves beneath my feet,
it's all wrapping up like a tornado, heaving me
like mud into a wild filthy nature.
Perhaps I'm just a root, I only fit ground,
I don't know, it's where I fit, and how I go?
but I know you're part of a place,
where I just won't belong.

Sometimes I sketch a sun outside my window,
trusting that you've sent it while I was asleep,
thus I grant you a morning kiss, for brightening
my day, but it's only hours before night you know,
it's only hours before cold,
it's only hours before dark
and then I wake up losing the ray between you and I,
it's always fading away into clouds and night bats,
into the echoes of a lonely owl...

I could also build us a tower like I did with all
the morning suns, with all the tender kisses,
and sow us forests that would exist evermore,
past my aging imagination...but I know you're
part of a place,
where I just won't belong.

by: Rania Moallem

edited, revised.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Yrem Crish

    This is an amazing poem. Every word in every line pouring of emotion into my heart that I can't understand...honestly, I can't understand some of the message here..as though, I am not a brilliant poet like you,lol.. but I just feel the strong feeling behind these enticing words...I feel my heart throb annoying while reading the stanza..
    **Sometimes I sketch a sun outside my window,
    trusting that you've sent it while I was asleep,
    thus I grant you a morning kiss, for brightening
    my day, but it's only hours before night you know,
    it's only hours before cold,
    it's only hours before dark
    and then I wake up losing the ray between you and I,
    it's always fading away into clouds and night bats,
    into the echoes of a lonely owl...^^^my only impression from this that you are waiting for someone who are really special to you..you count every hour..every season..the days and the nights passed but he/she doesn't come...I really haunt with this piece..haunting every words to understand it fully and honestly..it seems I was addicted to read and read it again and again...I feel the pressure climax in the whole stuff. love it..
    5/5-C

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Nana, My amazing amazing friend, who always wows me with imagery and metaphors, and just did once again

    Like, this was such a piece with emotion that makes me feel weak and all teary eyed...

    I love the repetition, it really adds to the piece and makes the message of your love a little darker, and stronger

    Great write once again
    mwah
    xxx

  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    I came here....I remember...I read the piece maybe on FB or here...I don't know..I just loved it Nana...

    that tint of sadness you always come up with is just unbelievable ....<3

    I know that the morning suns and tender kisses image might sound a bit ...bit lame but when written amidst all those other images ...I just lost my breath...

    It was awesomeee!

    Nominated the next weekkkk

  • 12 years ago

    by Lioness

    The images that fill the first stanza are amazing. I love them! Such a sad tone to the words.

    I have a fascination with everything stormy. I love looking at storms and tornado's as destructive as they are, they always seem to prove a strong point in poetry. The image itself can really convey what you are trying to say. As soon as I read it I imagined that you are caught in a storm and being thrown around, not really fitting anywhere but going where it takes you. I also wondered if the tornado may be representing someone in your life - a person that makes you feel like you don't belong. Something to think about.

    I simply love the second stanza too. You talk here about being happy during the day, as if it were this person that gave you the sun in the sky but when dark turns around you begin to get that lonely feeling. For me when I think about things and it's sunny outside they don't seem so bad, but at night when I think about something like say death, it couldn't freak me out more. I don't know why, but it's amazing that the outside can really affect our emotions inside.

    Finally the last stanza tore me. The sad tone in this stanza is so evident, especially in the last line. We all want to feel like we belong to something. I get that lonely feeling again when I read this stanza.

    Hun another awesome write by you! You never fail to impress me with your pieces.

    x

  • 12 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Omg nana....Im speechless..honestly...I pictured this being read at a slam poetry contest, i just heard a serious voice reading every line, putting so much soul into..

    First of all, I fell in love with your opening line...that was amazing!!!

    Sometimes I sketch a sun outside my window,
    trusting that you've sent it while I was asleep,
    thus I grant you a morning kiss, for brightening
    my day,

    ^ Dear God that was so beautifully written , you truly knocked me off my feet with this one.

    And your ending....you did just what an amazing poet would do...you write this brilliant piece, with amazing words and metaphorical lines that make us fall in love, then end with with a terribly sad tone...thats brilliant to me! I love it, because I've become so engaged in what you've written I didn't want it to end and when it did end I was left feeling the sadness the author felt.

    LOVED LOVED LOVED

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