Your Demon

by Alanis   May 3, 2012


To you I am nothing but the demon that consumes
Your soul making your life a dark, empty hole. I am
Just eating away at your perfect life, causing nothing
But grief and strife. Why am I so worthless? All I
Ever seem to do is make life a nasty, unclean mess.
Kill me make this pain go away but no matter what
I do it looks like it's here to stay. I am your demon
Sent to destroy your every being. I will hold you tight
For my grasp is unfreeing.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Danial

    I like it. There's an almost sarcastic and bitter feel to it. Kinda hoped it was longer though. Anyways it was great. Cheers :D

  • 12 years ago

    by Alanis

    Thank u;) and thank u for the votes:D and my high rating

  • 12 years ago

    by Steven Croat

    Strage,dark and sad...:(
    Well written!Good job!!!

    Steven

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    It is a relatable piece. There are times when we just feel like we're causing nothing but pain to our loved ones, and you penned that nicely here.
    My only criticism perhaps, is the lack of punctuation, which made some parts nonsensical.
    "Kill me(,) make this pain go away(.) but no
    matter what
    I do(,) it looks like it's here to stay"
    "To you(,) I am nothing but the demon that
    consumes
    Your soul(. or ;) making your life a dark, empty
    hole."
    I do like the rhymes and the 'unfreeing', though it was meant to rhyme with the previous word, worked for me. I like it. It has this different kind of vibe to it, that I can't explain haha.
    Great job. Keep writing 5
    -X

  • 12 years ago

    by Shadow

    Great poem. I could really relate on how I feel most of the times.
    I like the feel of it.
    -Shadow

    • 12 years ago

      by Alanis

      ThAnk you:) its good 2 know I don't just relate 2 me but other people:D

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