The sadness and disappointment is felt through out the poem. Wish you the best.
Great poem:)

Thanks, i appreciate it

This is very sad poem
I love it
the flow was nice

"The streets are slowly becoming
my home
Like a cancer, this poverty grows
and is killing me slowly"

the start is more than amazing i love it and love the imagery in it a lot u done this well saying its like cancer killing slowly really love it

"This is not how i planned my life
Like anybody else, i had dreams
that have been shattered to pieces

What's even worse is that people
just stare as they walk about
in their fancy clothes and shoes

Some stare with disgust, they say
am making the streets dirty and
plan on chasing me away
What am i to do?"

good lines here, cause nobody ever plan his life to be in the street,the emotion here is so good
u could give me the feeling of losing your dreams ,and u described those people very well
they just stare at u while walking away and not help u
they even think u don't deserve to live
and now u wonder what can u do while you are weak like that

"Even though my stomach tumbles
with hunger, i have found comfort
in writing down my feelings

Day in day out, i write what i feel
knowing its the only thing left
that's valuable in my life"

this is an amazing ending shows how much u love poetry,even though you are so hungry u write down what you feel ,cause it is the only thing worthy in you life

wow i love it

5/5 is not enough to rate this piece
this is really master piece
Excellent work,keep writing =)

It takes a strong voice, the truth about to
be told. Many of us already live below
poverty. Well written

Aw this poem held such sadness , it made me think about poverty and see how you wrote it to compare and it really is like that

This is not how i planned my life
Like anybody else, i had dreams
that have been shattered to pieces

What's even worse is that people
just stare as they walk about
in their fancy clothes and shoes

Some stare with disgust, they say
am making the streets dirty and
plan on chasing me away
What am i to do?

I love tthis whole middle part , you had a great climax for this poem , its a deep and powerful poem, you did good on the challenge. nice work, keep on writing :)

I think you completed the challenge your father gave you very well. I loved this.

Citylife is none too kind to each other. If you were there out in the country, boy, you would have so much help you wouldn't know what to do with it. :)

5/5

If your dad reads this, I think he'll be really proud. You didn't just complete the challenge, you've managed to capture the life of a person
"This is not how i planned my life"
who made a terrible choice, which is also relatable to all of us, because everyone have made mistakes.
This piece also lets the reader see through the eyes of a mendicant, and makes the reader re-think if we are making the right choices, or slowly degrading. The ending was unexpected. I love how you tied in a poet's life.
"i have found comfort
in writing down my feelings
Day in day out, i write what i feel
knowing its the only thing left
that's valuable in my life"
---Beautiful, Paul. Hope your dad sees this.
-X

This poem is so sad and heartbreaking.

Where can we feel like we belong if we can't even feel it in our own place.

This poem really touched me. Awesome write Paul I loved it. Loved the use of the words and the images.

x

This challenge your dad gave you, was a really good one. To put yourself in the shoes of someone who has nothing. You portrayed the feelings really well and I pictured the look of disgust of those people.

Really well written.

They say writing is therapy and by doing so it also helps to lift the heaviness from the heart. An interesting write..I guess this is taken from a lost and unwanted person by the society; been pushed aside for the way one looks, acts behaves etc...but somehow writing helps this person to move on and to live. That is what I got from reading this...good job :)

A very cool challenge, put into the shoes of this person struggling makes you truly feel for them.
It's interesting though, that no matter what status you are in life, whether poor or rich, you can always find the same level of happiness, and also sadness. its all in the mind.