"as if he were born as (a) shadow and not (a) mortal man."
---articles are important
"A word had not been uttered past my lips, a sound not made."
---had=has
"his teeth (the) only thing I could see,"
So far, I'm liking the story. However, it's not as dark as I imagined. It's more of a love story in the Middle Ages narrated by a modern person reminiscing, perhaps?
-X

"His path led him straight to my stand of shadows,
a smile greeting mine."

this part made me gasp lol,

"He whispered kisses upon my ivory neck,
as his arms naturally found their way to rest around my hips."
This part is very sensual i loved it:) and the imagery is great.

"I cupped his handsome face in my hands, lifting,
forcing his eyes to bore into mine, russet and cobalt.
"Is thou sure you are not but part feline?
With eyes, that see into the shadows as such?"
I had cocked my head to the side, curious, at him.
He simply smiled back at me,
his teeth only thing I could see,
in the penetrating darkness that held us close,
our personal blanket."
This sounds so sweet<3