Comments : What Comes With night(Epic, part 3)

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Hmm.. Is there a part 4? Do you mind messaging me if you submit one? (lol)
    But if this is the ending, it's an open-ended story. I like it.
    Great job on this :)
    -X

  • 12 years ago

    by Kitty Kurse

    ""Follow mine own footsteps, in cover of silence, into
    mine own bedchambers."

    Instead of saying mine I think it would sound better if you would have said thine,

    "Nights, waning at the window, waiting,
    with not a promise of thou in sight,
    not a word mentioned of thou's worth." The imagery and story is so amazing! I liked the way you put this line though.

    I really loved this write though. I wish there was more ahaha.
    5/5