Lost Tale (Collab with Max)

Sounds like and amazing dream if you ask me. I would love that dream.

Love it

I kinda liked this one. it was well written, with little rhyme scheme. it was imaginative yet i felt like the first stanza told the beginning of a tale, and the rest of the poem went on a tangent. maybe if you made a segue stanza it would paint a broader picture. this was good however. well written for two writers, collaborations can be hard, and you two seemed to be a good pair.

I read this yesterday but did not have time to comment. Well, anyway..
This is a really great collab, and I agree, you two should work again some time.
"I scrolled through pages,
reading the lines of a book"
---I found this confounding yesterday, and didn't know why.. Now, I think 'scrolled' is a clumsy word choice. I don't think you can scroll through pages of a book! Wait, can you? I dunno. Maybe you're using an e-book? lol.. Perhaps change this to "leafed through pages..."
"Once upon a time,
I began to read as the words
worked their magic,"
---once upon a time is in the past tense, and the following lines contradicted the tense of the first line. Consider revising this. Though, if you want to know my suggestion, just remove the 'once upon a time'
"Wondering around,
my eyes caught her(.)"
---the persona's eyes 'caught her'? hmm.. kinda sounds funny. Perhaps 'caught a glimpse of her'?
"it seemed there were no more
magical words to be read."
---were=was
I really like the ending. It was a mix of disappointment and sadness, perhaps? Because the story has ended. Really nice. A great read. Hope to see more collabs from you two :)
-X

Wow! It reminds me of the tv show "Once Upon A Time" which I totally LOVE watching.

This poem is filled with these images of fairytales and it drew me in!

I don't know Max's work but this seems to be a wonderful collab because of the fact I can't tell which part Paul wrote so you guys did an amazing job!

The ending of course saddened me that the love could not continue :(

x