17

by nouriguess   May 14, 2012


When I talk with my father
about guys and their sweet
words, laughing as we swap stories
that happened and happened not
in my high school,

about students disbursing along the
courtyard, gossiping
about Miss D's breasts and
gnawing their peanuts as if they were
dying out in a moment or something.
About that auburn-tressed lassie who had
been gloating at me for five
perceptible minutes and
as the wind ruined her mascara, I giggled
with a friend whose sandals
were the first scene in my dream
the next day.

I tell him the story of me
laying for that left-handed, muscular
hero who had saved my hairpins
from rain with his dark-yellow, leathery
jacket in the morning and had said that
I'm pretty like a vista.
Of him showing up with a smile of certitude
and blabbing about my shawl.

When I talk with my father about
students coming back to classes; instructors
crowing till death and bells ringing
till they lose their clang, about me
still standing
with three lips in my mouth
and a bunch of distorted morals...

I don't feel that I'm seventeen
at all.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Lioness

    Hello lovely!

    This poem was awesome. I felt like it was a way to get to know you a little deeper. The images you've used and the descriptions are so in depth I love it. I think the memories must mean something to you because of the way you wrote about them.

    I love these types of poems that are so personal because you end up feeling like you have more of a connection with the writer.

    Awesome hun,

    LOVED IT!!!!!!

    x

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Noura,

    You just write with so much feeling, soo much of this I understand, so much of this breaks my heart, but Happy Birthday for Sunday, My Dear...

    You are just awesome!!!!!!!!!

  • 12 years ago

    by Chelsey

    FREAKING LOVE THIS....

    Loved the way you talked, loved how it was choppy but not choppy it all. Loved the metaphors. Loved how you described this. Loved the touch of "it was a talk with your father"....I loved every bit of this.....reminds me of talks with my dad and high school memories of cute boys and b-i-t-chy teen girls.....thanks for taking me back :)

    Great write!!

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Really?? Advance Happy Birthday!
    You're old jk.. Don't worry, i don't forget gifts ;)

    • 12 years ago

      by nouriguess

      Haha, was kidding! If there were something like cyber-gift, I would say yes, however! haha.

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    I have a weird feeling you're turning seventeen soon ;)

    The descriptive words and vivid imagery made this a delight to read. But a little error grammatically in the beginning. The first sentence is a sentence fragment. Really off putting, to be honest as it was the start. Shame, it has a crisp language and a sort of nostalgic feeling to it, so consider revision there.

    I really like how you ended this one, though. After giving the reader a perspective of what it felt like being sixteen, a shift of tone revealed that the persona doesn't feel any 'change', perhaps after turning seventeen. I love your play with tone and emotion here.
    Overall a great read. Keep writing :)
    -X

    • 12 years ago

      by nouriguess

      Haha. Turning 17 in a week. Don't forget the gift. ;P

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