Comments : When Am Gone

  • 12 years ago

    by Max

    This is amazing
    i love this poem a lot
    find nothing to criticize in here

    just some funny lines in here like
    "None.maybe only God and his crew"
    this line was really funny xD 'God and his crew'
    part was like lol

    "Me,you who is perfect?"
    I suggest that you make it

    "Who is perfect Me or you?"
    a bit changed but reads better(for me)

    "Am a fool when am up to the best"
    to--for
    'for' can be better than 'to' here.

    that is it over all this poem is quite good
    I enjoyed reading

    hope i see more of you soon =)

  • 12 years ago

    by average thoughts

    I didnt see any mistakes..liked it..

  • 12 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    My favorite part:

    A question i must ask them too Who is perfect me or you? None.maybe only God and his crew For me its easy as can be Just one time and you would see no more of me Am a fool when am up for the best Diming my scope and knawing my nest

    ............................

    Great poem, very delightful and i loved it :) 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Boy

    Great. work.... starting was so good...

    I will leave for the shore
    Sailing as far as i can like the wind
    Leaving miles and leagues behind
    Then maybe when am gone it would strike you
    That i was never black but as harmless as blue

    my favorite lines are..

  • 12 years ago

    by Yrem Crish

    I will leave for the shore
    Sailing as far as i--(I)--capitalize this,lol.
    can like the wind
    Leaving miles and leagues behind
    Then maybe when am gone it would strike you
    That i was never black but as harmless as blue

    I like the ending part. Over all, I enjoy reading your stuff:)keep writing on
    -C

  • 12 years ago

    by Silent Girl

    When Am Gone will you miss me :( 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Illusion

    Who is perfect me or you?
    None.maybe only God and his crew.
    Great poem....

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenn

    Wow, I really liked this.
    It's beautifully written, and it flowed well for me.
    Keep it up, I'll keep reading. 5.

    Jenn

  • 12 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    Then maybe when am gone it would strike you
    That i was never black but as harmless as blue

    I really liked this line, it was so well written. The content of the poem was good and so was the message and how you used your words.