Fam(ily)

I was already getting
close to home when I saw you,
you were at the other end
of the street waiting for me,
like always.

from the distance,
I couldn't tell if it was you
you look so different these days,
so I called, once, twice..
till you felt my voice
and I walked in my direction.

I'm sorry I made you wait so long,
I'm sorry I didn't tell you
I was going to come from
the other side tonight.

..But I'm starting to take
the long way home, cause it's
what safer.

I know its probably,
wrong of me to weep
for what I haven't lost yet.

but I can feel you slipping away.

your walk is crooked,
and your eyes have lost that
sparkle.

Tonight, when I saw you there.

my heart was awe struck
by your love, by the purity
of it. Tonight, I was reminded
of these last seven years.

of all those afternoon
spent in your warmth.
how we never shared words
but I could see them
dancing on your tongue.

tonight, I felt like
I was losing the only thing
left from my childhood,
my last sacred part, the
object of my affection

I bet you know,
how much I hate impotence.
you know how much I hate
not being able to provide
for what I love, I've told
you those stories.

in those times, when you
were all I could rely on.

I don't know if you know
how much I love you, and I don't know
If you know that I'm fighting
back the tears while writing
this poem..

that I know what is
going to happen..

sooner or later, the things
you love in life you loose.

but why you?
when I still have so many
afternoons to spend with you.
I still want to share my ice cream
and my cookies. They won't taste as good alone.

I want to observe you
from a distance, and laugh again
at all the silly things you did.
how you'd chase whatever
caught your attention, no matter how
big, no matter how small.

I want to be able to
kiss your nose a million
times more.

Hear mom, drown in her jealousy
of how I love you more than
her, and how devoted I am to you.

I'm not done with the caresses
just yet, I have more, so much
more.

because,some pets are just
pets, but others are family.

you are family.

and to be without you,
is not something
I can deal with yet.