Loved it Hun. I love all of your poems that I have read

Hmm this is fantastic
I can't say how much I love this poem really

lets see

"While holding this trophy
my heart glamours for joy;
teary eyes sparked with happiness
when I saw those people behind me..."

the starting stanza was very nice
you used some good words here
I like the imagery you draw here
it is like you won some tournament and you got the trophy.

"But, suddenly my eyes
clouded with darkness;
my ears heard nothing,
but a deaf of silence...
I was scared to step on
and afraid to be fall
into the cliff hole."

oki now you are making me wonder,what happened for this to be??

"and afraid to be fall"
remove 'be' or make 'fall'------'falling'
2nd is better

"I was in the Garden of Ebony...
All was clothed with darkness
I begun to cry, to jitter and to regret.
I heard their voices...
calling my name,
I followed their trail
that slowly vanished
and drowned in the air..."

oki now i might be understanding u mostly(in my opinion) fainted and then died you went to a very dark place that you can see nothing but darkness and you can even see your self
love the imagery in last line
"drowned in the air"
very well written

I wanted to touched them
"with my fingertips
But I was halted in the ground
Kneeling in the middle of fame
Enduring their faces smiled in pale
I wanted to reach them
but all I did was
embraced this glittering trophy..."

oki now somebody pushed u to the ground
i wonder that fame is your fame right?
you now can see pale faces smiling?
you wanted to reach them but all u did was holding your glittering trophy??

hmm makes more sense now here is another story
you might be talking about fame manics
they can pay everything for fame and when they get it they stuck to it and don't want to leave it,even when it is useless and when life is fighting them they don't fight back but stuck to symbol of fame he\she have.

I understand dark poems have ambiguity and obscurity, but perhaps this is too abstract? Or perhaps this is too dark for me?
Hm:

"While holding this trophy
my heart glamours for joy;"

Questions are immediately formed in my mind. What trophy? Whose trophy?
What I come up with is perhaps it is a metphor for success or something within that line.

"teary eyes sparked with happiness
when I saw those people behind me..."

Perhaps the persona is overwhelmed with happiness with the honor given to her, that she thought 'people behind' her would easily crush her, but in the end, she has won, hence holding the trophy and being so happy.

"But, suddenly my eyes
clouded with darkness;
my ears heard nothing,
but a deaf of silence..."

This gives suspense which is nice for a poetry in this genre.. But 'a deaf of silence' is nonsensical. 'My ears heard nothing but silence' make sense.

"I was scared to step on
and afraid to be fall
into the cliff hole."

Expand, Mery. The persona was afraid to step on what? Eradicate 'be'. I don't know what a 'cliff hole' is, perhaps the 'edge' of a cliff?

"I was in the Garden of Ebony...
All was clothed with darkness"

The Garden of Ebony gave a nice imagery, but again, expand on the second line. Who/what was clothed with darkness?? The persona or the garden?

"I begun to cry, to jitter and to regret."

begun--began
I think this would read better if you play with the line breaks a bit. Make it more dramatic and breath-taking. I'll show you:
"I began to cry,
to jitter, and
to regret"
---Something like that. Play with the layout and format and punctuation (but be careful of what punctuation, a wrong choice would disrupt the flow)

"I heard their voices...
calling my name,"

The ellipsis was unneeded here. But if you want to retain a certain pause there, a hypen would do.

"I followed their trail
that slowly vanished
and drowned in the air..."

Good imagery. But the setting seems a little shaky. It keeps changing and shifting but perhaps that's what you intended here? A dreamy sort of atmosphere?

"I wanted to touched them
with my fingertips"

The lingering question: who are 'they'?
I like 'fingertips' here. Connotes a gentle touch.
touched---touch

"But I was halted in the ground
Kneeling in the middle of fame"

'Halted' is not a good word choice here. Consider changing it..
Kneeling shows respect and perhaps the persona is humble in her fame.

"Enduring their faces smiled in pale
I wanted to reach them
but all I did was
embraced this glittering trophy..."

embraced--embrace. Revise 'smiled in pale' it is grammatically incorrect.
Message-wise, the persona is humble inside, but she has a heart of stone in her actions. This shows the 'disadvantage' of always winning; losing humility to impress. Well-written, overall. Keep writing
-X

The imagery was good.my only problem is i have diverse themes to this poem.was it literal as in u fainted and died.the iction i would say was perfect bt the whole poem leaves 1 to wonder.generally it was good

This is amazing! 5/5 :)

Welll this poem is mysterious and thought provoking, well to me it is and I love that, it was an awesome poem you have come up with here. . .

I liked the entire poem, nice work
5/5

I love the feeling the poem gave me; clouded with mystery and darkness. However I am not entirely sure about the message it is trying to convey. Nevertheless, good work!

God wouldn't give us, all we care. But His calendar, is our hope.

Oh my gosh his left me speechless ;)

I left my vote but not my comment,

I read this poem like five times, and I like how it sounds, I like that it slowly creates some images in my mind, but there still remain some questions to me. Like what is that trophy? How did she earned it? But overall I enjoyed the read.

Wow! You write so good.. Keep it up
A 5/5 :)

Wow! You write so good.. Keep it up
A 5/5 :)

Very nice compostion

Wow,,achieved greatness, amazing write 5/5

Ooh, wishbyou had taken the chance before missing it,,

gud piece

Truly amazing *-*
Loved it!

I really feel the moral or lesson of this poem is,

"while traveling to the top, don't forget to thank and even help the people that got you there.

A wonderful poem!

So I do like this piece, but at the same time... Through out reading it, I got a little confused on it's meaning.

My initial thought was the moral to this tale is... When you get to the top, don't forget the people who where behind you. Who helped you achieve glory. ???

"I was in the Garden of Ebony
That clothed with darkness;
And I started to
missed those people
behind me,
but I left them in the milestone
of broken pledge..."

This poem is very well composed, I enjoyed reading it. You're an amazing writer. :))

5/5
Jenn

Good poem but some words seemed strange to me (mostly in a grammatical sense).

But the topic and writing were very good ;)

Keep it up!

5/5