Landscapes

by nouriguess   May 20, 2012


I once stressed the sun
to the corner of your
street, crimpled its rays with
my palms to let the
morning touch your
window, through
traffic jam and the scent of waste.
It bloomed to the
pavements; they
were obvious like a white
string on an
auburn shoulder. My kites
flew in a random cadence and
threw the sun to your
lazy bed.

I once saw the clouds, slithering
between woolgathering stars
that looked like
bonbons nested within
the sky, through a moon
stuck in the branches
to your land.
I led their
path; they painted poetry
in the air.

I once loved you but
you dropped your
curtains.

    report violation
5


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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Britt

    Comment from judging:

    The metaphors in this poem are brilliant. I simply love the use of painting poetry in the air, the way bon bons were used (though odd I will admit!), and the idea of stressing the sun to the corners.. so many odd images but vivid and beautiful with such extensive meanings. This was really a great read, one that can make you come up with a new idea every time.

  • 12 years ago

    by Blissful

    Whoa! By just reading the title, I was not ready for the clever trip you were going to take me on with your words! What a nice contrast! The first thing that I loved the most about this poem was the use of imagery. You did such a nice job of describing scenes without it being too dull or overdone. There were just so many directions this poem took me that I don't know where to start! Great use of words such as "slithering" and "nestled." It added a nice atmosphere to the poem.

    " they
    were obvious like a white
    bikini string upon
    an auburn hip."
    ^Wow. What an image! What creativity! I am blown away.

    This was such a wonderful piece. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

  • 12 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Mother of Trees all beautiful!!!! ;p well deserved win sweets!

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Congratulations on the win, was very much deserved, I love this poem...

  • 12 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I don't think i can say anything better than anyone else, took the words out of my mouth. 5/5 :)

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