I like the rhyming words. It's like a lyrical poem because as I read this piece I feel like I'm reading the hip-hop/rap song. Hahaha! Well, the flow is nice too and the rhythm is great. Amazing piece. Keep writing:))
5/5
~C

I usually shy away from the slang section of this site lol. But I have to say this was pretty good. Perhaps with a certain 'beat' this would turn into a great rap/song.
As a poem, it had some forced rhyme, especially with the first stanza:

"You're only 20 years old
You're still an infant
But your story is already told
It's totally insignificant"

Let me just explain why it is a forced rhyme. It's not just the syllable count, but also the message, which was nonsensical. 'Only 20 years old but still an infant'??? As a poem, it is easily laughable (no offense), but as lyrics and a rap at that, I guess it's okay (?) As I've said, I don't usually read slang poetry or listen to rap or write them. So it is not my position to critique. But in my humble opinion, I think this pretty good. Keep writing
-X