Wondering

Hunger stabs at the anxious
folds of my stomach,
work sits aside my bed
almost bawling to be touched-
yet today, life can wait.

I try to take up the empty spaces
in my bed,
stretching like a feline caught
by the sun's eye
yet realizing its shadow will forever
outweigh it.

Everything tells me to let me defenses go
sink into dreams, stop blinking,
I become the one intoxicated
as I was when you called to say
you were gone for good.

In my sleepless vision, there is no sun
and my body watches itself as I freeze,
numb, non-functioning, not leaving
a trace of an echo.

No one comes to save me,
locks crystallize around my wrists
then start linking my fingers together.
I can't move- abandoned
caged
with no one to hold onto
or a place for dreams to collide.

Days could be passing
friction between past petals,
maybe I will be the sunless
window that once had a wish
to be a blossom.

Or maybe fate is just pondering
if you'll ever chase my heart
again- and the river will be
still
by my side.

May 26, 2012.