I do love your poem jenn
I would have chosen
Love is unpredictable

What about "her true self"?

When I read the poem, I couldn't understand what it meant, and the way I understood it, is as if that someone you are personifying with the moon, doesn't know what love is...or that is using love...

Hmm... Perhaps, it's as if she is trying to find affection but in her way of doing so she is not doing it the correct way. Hence, the mention of she knows how to say the right things yet they sound so wrong.
And you are simply watching her, observing her behavior and while doing so you have realized her true self.. Perhaps you are implying that that someone is faking love. Or that you are not certain that it is love or not.. But many talked about her... Rather gossip about her. And if she knew she would feel embarrassed.

Well written poem, As I was reading it, I sensed within your tone disappointment.

Edit:

"The only thing that compares
to her silence is the whole world
being quiet due to one sentence,
that makes heartbreaks audible."

^^^ the way, I understood it, is as if when she doesn't speak it breaks people's heart.
In my opinion, this one is an important part of the poem. It ties everything up really well.

So yeah, after reading this poem many times, I still think this is about some girl who is really important to people, and you have step back a little perhaps stayed in solitude just to analyze her( and the wine part to me is as if you are relaxing And simply looking carefully at her moves and listening to her words.

By the way, could you pm with what you aimed to express in this piece? I'm curious.

I can't come close to comparing with Dagmar, Senyru, and Everlasting, but I do want you to know that I really, really, truly love this poem.

This poem is how the best music should be: beautiful and sad. I know of more people that hide their true selves than people who are simply themselves, and that makes me sad. This poem puts every last one of those people on my heart, and I am crying now.

But I won't end this on a sad note! As I also said, this poem is beautiful! In so many ways is it beautiful. Jenni, you are a master of words, and when I read this, I felt the emotion that you poured out here. You are wonderful!

Excellent work, Jenni! 5/5

-Cardwell

I love each and every line in this poem. Ahhh, so beautiful. 5/5

I'd love to leave a long comment with my thoughts on each line/stanza, but seems like Senyru and Luce said it all..
Hm,
'Not a bedtime story'
It is considered by some writers grammatically incorrect if the title is not correctly capitalized (thought I'd mention that). Anyway, when I first read it, I thought the poem would have a fairytale-like theme or a fictitious tale; those used for "children's" bedtime stories, but I guessed wrong. It is rather leaning on emotion and perhaps 'teenage' heartache without being overdramatic (which was good). So, yes the title needs a little revision or changing entirely because it's quite unfitting and doesn't connote what the piece is about. 'True self' is fitting, but 'A Wilted Muse' is more interesting and eye-catching. As for myself, I don't know what to suggest considering the fact that I don't do good with titles lol. But in my opinion, a standout word here is 'veil', I don't know your exact purpose/meaning with this piece, but if this is as Luce has said, about 'faking love', then veil is the most elegant word here and it underlines that. Also 'moon' plays a rather important part as well, because it is the metaphor you've used for that person. So my suggestion is 'Veiled Moon' or something (I know it sucks, but that's the best I could think of).
Anyhow, my favorite part:

'but I only craved to find my fortune,
unfortunately I found you.
And soon realized, that love
is the most dangerous weapon,
whether real or not.'

I adore the play on 'fortune' and 'unfortunately', so nice and memorable. And yes, the ending was breathtaking. Awesome piece. Keep writing :)
-X

Jenni this is an awesome piece!
Very well done:)

I have to say the first stanza was awesome. Loved the way you opened it with such a powerful image.

Awesome write hun, so much has been said but your poem was enjoyable to read. I could feel the sadness come through the words.

x

This poem is so bittersweet.

I like all the imagery incorporated in it :)

5/5

Oh holy cow, this was an amazing poem

That first Stanza, beastly.

I really can't find what to say.

This is a beautiful poem, Jenni.

The part that gets me the most is:

"The only thing that compares
to her silence is the whole world
being quite due to one sentence,
that makes heartbreaks audible."

^The message that you are trying to convey here is complex-at least for me. Are you trying to say that her silence is as noticeable, to you, as the whole world being silent? I think that is what you are trying to say. That is a good comparison because if the whole world were silent...it would be impossible not to notice. I'm just talking to myself :) sorry

As I said, this is a beautiful poem. It is like you were trying to figure her out just by watching the things she does. You put it in such a way that the reader is there right along with you.

Sorry this is a little late
Excellent
5/5

Everything has been said ... i thought it was a really good well thought out peice ... with your poems what i like in most i have to read twice n really dig deep to understand n then at the end it all comes together ... your talent shows through every word in this piece well done :)

First of all, I LOVE the title! You had such a powerful ending to this poem that it made me want to read the poem a few more times to bask in the truth in your words. So many tell tales of love in their poetry but you did a great job of making it personal to you and not wrapped in general conceptions about love...

"You veil your true self
by saying all the right things
yet they sound so wrong,
but I only craved to find my fortune,
unfortunately I found you."
^I think a lot of people can relate to this stanza... I know I can. Some people are so great at making you think they're something different than they really are and we feel so betrayed and vacant when we see their true colors. Those are the people, though, that help us learn to be aware of certain characteristics in others and be quicker to pick up red flags.

Wonderfully done here, I really enjoyed it!