It's Not Worth the Pain

I'm sick of all the heartaches,
I'm sick of all the pain,
I'm sick of all the tears
As I stand here in the rain.

Once again I was left alone,
To cry and fall apart,
The tears fall freely down my face
As I clench my bleeding heart.

He ripped out my heart and gave it back,
I now hold it in my hand,
The blood falls through my fingers
And soaks into the sand.

The blood pours from my chest
And it soaks my soft white dress,
I don't know what I did
To end up in this mess.

Everything was perfect,
Everything was fine,
But he quickly changed that
By saying one single line.

He told me it was over,
But he couldn't tell me why,
And he hung up the phone
When I began to cry.

I stand here on this lonely beach,
As the rain begins to pour,
My bleeding heart is in my hand,
As I cry more and more.

What did I do wrong?
What is wrong with me?
If there's a reason for this heart ache,
Then it's something I don't see.

I was so very happy,
I felt so alive,
But with the words "it's over"
I lost the will to survive.

I no longer smile,
I have forgotten how,
Nothing matters anymore,
There's nothing for me now.

I lost both of my angels,
And with them all my joy.
They meant everything to me,
But to life I'm just a toy.

I look down at my bleeding chest
To the hole where my heart should be,
This time I'll leave it open,
For everyone to see.

May my heart turn black and cold,
I'm sick of all this pain,
I am sick of always hurting,
And I won't do this again.

He left me alone and shattered
Without a reason why,
But I know it would be different,
If he saw me cry.

I won't give up however,
I will wait until I die,
The heart in my hand belongs to him,
Same with the tears I cry.

I need someone to fix me,
But no one is getting close,
I refuse to let them,
Cause he's the one I chose.

I will remain alone forever,
My heart will always bleed,
If hurting me was his plan,
Then he certainly did succeed.

Why was I not good enough?
What can I not see?
After ten months together,
Why walk away from me?

My heart and chest ache and bleed,
As my tears fall with the rain,
Never again will I love,
Because it's not worth the pain.

This poem is dedicated to my ex. We were together for 10 months and then out of the blue he called and broke up with me but couldn't tell me why and he hung up as soon as he heard me start to cry. In one of the lines I say "I lost both of my angels" because he was my angel and I was pregnant with his baby, but I miscarried a week and a half after he broke up with me...