- Good opening, I liked the ending of the first stanza where you describe that moment you realize it's happiness that you miss feeling. The only suggestion I have is creating more of a image with your words, "having fun" is a bit vague, my opinion is not necessarily to add more words, you can have few words that are simple but add color and attention to the capturing opening.

"At home that feeling doesn't seem to be there..."

- Loved the honesty in this first statement; it's true. Sometimes the one place we think is always rooted in our hearts, we don't feel that wholeness and happiness.

"But on holiday that feeling seems to be everywhere...
You want the happy feeling to always last...
But why does it go away so fast?
The holiday doesn't seem to end
Until the last day
When you realize you have to go back...
While you don't want to, you want to stay...
Wish that the happy feeling could always last
And not just goes to the past...
Because when you're home the feeling is gone...
You can't make it undone...
Back to the reality
A place you don't want to be..
A place where the worries are back in your mind...
All the troubles you left behind
Just for the moment you were away...
On that great, great holiday"

- I feel like this is a bit repetitive, I would say that free verse would work better here; I love your writing style- it's very flowing and open, but I feel like the rhyme constricts it. I like your simple yet real portrayal of reality, how it does bring back worries to the mind. This was my favorite line: "You can't make it undone". There are some things we can fix, but when we feel a certain way, sometimes we may feel like it's already set in stone- a part of our history. The last line I feel is too weak- end it with more emotion maybe? Why the holiday is so dear to you? Not just forgetting worries but realizing and discovering yourself? Just my opinion :]

"At home you have to figure out what you want to do when you finish your studies
You have to figure out what you want to be..."

- Loved this part!!! And especially bringing up the studies, it can be overwhelming! I liked the simplicity of that second line, there's so much mystery, I have no idea what my future will hold and sometimes that unknown really frightens me.

"But what if you just don't know that yet...
When there are all these doubts and fears in your head..."
- Yes, there's definitely a lot of doubts and fears that enter.

"I don't want to be a secretary
It's not something for me
It doesn't make me glow
It's so frustrating to not know...
Some people just know..
Maybe I actually do too..
It's writing like this
But how am I going to make a living out of it?
Where do I start?
One thing I know for sure is that I want to follow my heart.."
- I liked this, it got a lot more personal. How you don't want to sit around, wait on calls, organize....that you want to write, and just for you. Go for it :)

"I want to make my dream come true
I hope the nice person who listens to me and reads my poems, wants that too.."

- This was cute, and beautiful, you bring out that desire and speak directly to the audience. My advice would be to ask in a more indirect way though like something like this:

talk with "you"

"if you hear the breaths trying to escape on this paper,
maybe you will listen to them, or see your own dreams
hidden somewhere here."

- Bring that desire for the readers to chase their own dreams too, no matter what the world is telling them.

"I need your help
The help of everyone who reads my poems
Please tell your friends and family about my poetry
It would mean so much to me..
I'm not a person who gives up easily
Especially not since it's my dream to do something with it and to become more known"

- To make this a poem, I would write this in a more tactful way, I don't even think you need this stanza because by just reading the readers will find what they like about your poetry themselves and if they will keep reading. Make them come back for more, not begging.

"To see where it'll take me
I want to chase my dream..
I don't want to look back and think: 'what if'
I would do everything it takes
I won't stop trying until I have reached my goal
I know it's hard to accomplish
But I need your help
So please tell all the people you know about my poetry
Maybe they'd like to read it as well
I would be so thankful..
Because now the door is closed
And I want it to open
I would like to be discovered by someone in the 'industry'..
It would make me so happy..
But anyone who reads my poetry
That already means a lot to me
And the comments bring a smile to my face
That can not be erased"

- I liked the part about chasing your dream, definitely of course do it, maybe include what poetry makes you feel, why you want to share it with the world, not just be part of the industry but influence others. What inspires you to write?

- My opinion is this needs a bit work- maybe make it more personal and have the audience grasping by the end that they are the ones being talked to, encouraged, not just flat asked out to read and leave comments. Maybe proclaim to individuals in the beginning, but then say you want to spread love and hope throughout the world, if that's what you are made to do. My biggest thought is to stick to the beginning, tie in the holiday. If you want to appeal towards the audience, maybe make a separate poem. But talk about being on holiday, forgetting worries, seeing reality but realizing that dreams are still hidden there, you just have to bring it back. Remember your goal at the beginning was to talk about where the feeling of happiness lays. Let your poetry speak then.

Keep writing, and good luck with your dream, many blessings :)

It's fair Emma. We're looking forward to see more penning. Have a nice day.

This is so true! Lol. Amazing poem with words that fit together perfectly. Great job