I am honestly surprised that no one has commented on this yet, especially with almost three hundred views. I think this piece has a great concept and some unique displays of specific skills, but it really could use a little work. It's just that the piece is lacking a flow and maybe if you tried reading it out loud to yourself, you could see how to fix it or see something i missed in reading this. Also your choice of style was interesting, but it could be tweeked a little or maybe just condensing some of your longer lines will fix it.

All in all this piece has a lot of potential and I like the point to it, very relateable.

Loved the meaning behind this piece, real raw emotion seeping out of it. The flow can use some work but then again most of my poetry doesn't flow very well. You gave a strong message here and allowed the reader into your mind and feelings in a way that is easily relating.