Who am I?

by Alanis   Jun 1, 2012


My memories are my trauma.
My heart is my endless suffering
My life is my story
My friends are my demons
My enemies are my angels
My music is the very soul that holds me together.
I am naive and young
I expect too much good from people
I hurt those I love most
I love those who hate me
I bring grief to those around me.
Who am I? Your young restless soul

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  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    This is a very relatable piece which makes it worth-reading.
    It's interesting how you wrote all those things about yourself, but in the end, there's still the question; who am I?
    It is powerful and thought-provoking. And I think there will always be a constant search for us to find what/who we are.

    'Who am I? Your young restless soul'
    ^ The last line was obviously the strongest point of this whole piece, however, in my honest opinion, I think it could still be improved to heighten the impact to the reader. Just a suggestion: Enclose the question in quotation marks. I think it would be more interesting. We won't know who asked it, and it would be more thought-provoking..

    Overall, this is another well-written piece, Chelsea. Keep writing (:
    -X

  • 12 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Typos: nieve is supposed to naive.

    Chelsea, like Cardwell, I can also relate to this. The only lines that I disagree with are:

    "My friends are my demons" and "My enemies are my angels."

    That is usually switched for me, but other than that your poem parallels my life. I hate it how I hurt those I love the most and love people that will never love me back. That definitely hits home quite well and makes me cringe every time I read it because my memories are always crystal clear...

    Each and every person's life is a story-if everything was to be written down, it would more than likely be a novel. I find the lives of people to be interesting because you never know what they have gone through.

    There is so much to say about your poem, Chelsea. I am quite fond of it, but I won't take up more of your time.

    Excellent poem
    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Cardwell

    Ah, yes.

    This poem is quite relatable for me. It seems as though everyone I love ends up dying or leaving. I can understand how you were feeling when you wrote this. My memories are blurry, but what I can remember is traumatic.

    "Music is the very soul that holds me together"

    Ah how true this is! Music is soothing... it calms my restless soul as I cry in the night. It tells me that there is hope for the future and that you, as I, should never give up, and never let go of what you hold dear.

    This is an amazing piece!

    -Cardwell