Who did this to me?

by Yakari Gabriel   Jun 3, 2012


I never wanted to be a charity case,
to be loved out of pity, and not out of will,
I never wanted to be, a broken mirror.

to see myself in fragments, of hopelessness,
sadness, and vulnerability.
but they are subjects the tongue does not touch,
for the fear of what the heart may say.

Who did this to me?..

Who made me feel so insecure,
who made me fear all that I am,
and sucked life out me, who was
that good of an artist, that manage to
paint the Niagara falls on the canvas of my eyes,

Who made the walls of my room so comforting,
I never want to get out anymore, I'm not excited
about birth days, about the future, about anything.
I have sketched my own funeral more
times in my mind than rain has poured
from the sky.

who did this to me?...

who made me this unhappy,
to the point where I doubt my own sanity,
where I fear my own hands, oh,
the times I have fought the urge to harm myself.
to end this once, and do that old cliche,
of just leaving a letter behind. donate my organs,
to someone who wants to live.

who made me feel this handicapped,
as if I was some kind of diseased creature
unable to sustain itself,

who did this to me?

because, it couldn't have been me..

it couldn't have been,

I am not that bad of a person.

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by nouriguess

    Yakz!

    You've been writing melancholy lately! I just feel this couldn't be any more saddening. You have a contest up there talking of self-confidence and happiness, yet you are penning your thoughts with a bitter tune that makes my heart cringe.

    You, for sure, ain't a charity case. You, too, ain't a broken mirror. Maybe you're just looking at yourself from too many dimensions. Nobody thinks you are weak. For me, the peak of strength comes from the ability to admit how much ache you feel.

    Not saying this because I love you but because it must never be hidden.

    Epic write.

  • 13 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Beautiful, yet sad poem Yaki. The title of this poem drew me in and when I saw it was in the sad section it got me even more involved.

    "I never wanted to be a charity case,
    to be loved out of pity, and not out of will.
    I never wanted to be, a broken mirror."

    Wonderful, compelling beginning. We all don't want to be charity cases. We want someone to love us just the way we are. To be loved because someone feels sorry for us is quite killing in itself.

    "I have sketched my own funeral more
    times in my mind than rain has poured
    from the sky"

    This part is so full of emotion. Being so helpless as to dream of your own death...a brink were a lot of people reach and others actually succeed in committing the act.

    I just love this poem Yaki. It is now going to be on my favorites list.

    Excellent
    5/5

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