Bright, Brown and Big.

Comments from judging:

The first stanza has me absolutely pulled in, and I can't help but read. I quickly scanned the length of this poem earlier and dreaded reading it due to my impatience, but I was pleasantly surprised. People usually talk about how beautiful blue eyes are, so when someone writes of brown eyes (soulful, big, beautiful) I am immediately drawn due to it being unique. I feel there were some points of this poem that could have been taken out and still had the same effect, such as the eyes being a weakness. It's something that is obvious due to the poem. It didn't take away, just a thought to let the reader feel the weakness, rather than being told about it. While I don't necessarily agree with what the poem is about (cheating etc), I do appreciate the beauty in the words. To be honest I read this as a poem to a lover, without the cheating parts, to try and feel the affect of the emotional and passionate sides of this poem. Great imagery as well, I had a picture of a beautiful person painted perfectly in my mind.

I think this peace had a sequence like i am solving some AP/GP. i really the layout especially when u used the word "cheesy" which really sounded delious good one keep it up

I absolutely adore the beginning, how you open up giving explanations, reasons why your life is changed now, altered. Something thrown to mix up your life. Your descriptions are so loving and bright, the eyes of this girl who you keep wondering how she did it, how she came into your life and made you dance, sing, and all that comes with it. But it happened, and it made you smile. That is such a great gift.

Such a strong poem with many honest emotions that leave you thinking of the one who makes you smile.

Definitely a happy, carefree poem by the end Yaki! Great work :]

"Hey there you with the sad face come up to my place and live it up, you beside the dance floor why do you cry for let's live it up"
Oh those lyrics came to my head when I read your poem and I love that song!!! Though I love your poem more of course.
It also reminded me of the movie Practical Magic where the guy swoops in with his one brown, one blue eye and their love should be forbidden because of the curse. It is one of my favourite movies!!!
The words you've used her too, they are amazing, simple but beautiful. There's a tone of sensual aspects in this poem and it makes me tingle the way you describe the feelings you have for this person. I loved the last few lines as well, the image of you smiling is lovely!!!

Awesome write

x

OMG Yaki, When I read this earlier I really had to comment but had low battery on my phone and was desperate to get home and read this and some other pieces...

I had this stanza with me until I reached home.

you have me dripping
my way into cheesy poetry,
you have me dancing
on my toes, you have me biting
my lips at unusual hours.

^^^Just one of the most creative stanza's I have read, with the imagery and simpleness...It is fantastic!!

OMG Yaki, I am in awe...Like this is awesome mate, just awesomeness in a poem...

WOW

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox