I Just Need Your Heart Aware

by Poet on the Piano   Jun 8, 2012


I'm sure God sees it....

Her hidden eyes,
the ones that wish
upon the clouds,
instead of looking
at the white between
her father's eyes.

Facing the sky,
letting those who stare
only see what's behind her,
as she twists her neck,
trying to bury the
emotions,

how she feels like
a broken disappointment.

Because has she ever
had wings? Or are we all
stuck in cocoons of our
own bewilderment?

But her father tries
to smile back-
when he's been on the
runways of planes
for half a thousand years
and hasn't bothered to
send sunshine her way;
or so it seems.

Does he even know
she's attempted to leave
the world,
that his bright baby girl
was breathing on thoughts
of suicide?

Yet, he's always kept up
with the time,
time of the world
and never of her heart.
Asking how she is
though never bending
backward to listen
and know that she doesn't
want what he voices
for her.

She curses with no shame,
hurting her mother internally
when she whispers how
she doesn't want him to come
back, to come to home,
the place he's made for them.

Hating herself
for believing that he was
one of the forgiven.

But I tell you again, she cannot
get her heart to mend quick enough
and call him Dad,
avoiding his eyes all the while,
neglecting the good morning hug
or even a goodbye.

And her mind wraps itself
in foil, trying to make a figure
of it-
How could he so soon expect
that their family was unprepared
without him,
a lawless fling of summertime.

And if she could truly speak
the truth, instead of his odious
memories belting their way out,
she'd say,
we've been fine without you, dad,
and I sometimes wish you would
have called me first,
to let me know that things haven't
changed.
But they have, God knows they have.

June 7, 2012.

    report violation
0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Darren

    I have two daughters, one 8 one 6, reading this is difficult.
    (My wife says I am too soft on them, But it's better than hearing "we've been fine without you Dad"
    Anyway onto the poem...
    You definitely have a way with your descriptive narrative, "Mind wraps itself in foil"
    And
    Or are we all
    stuck in cocoons of our
    own bewilderment?

    This is the Jump out piece is this.
    Odious memories is true, lose touch, try and get back in, you can only really speak about good and tend to try and ignore anything that may have been bad.
    Interesting how she blames herself, could she have done better, is it her fault?
    Yet you show clearly it wasn't.
    You have a talent for portraying emotion on the page. (or screen!!)
    It flows very well, even the odd double line in the middle of longer stanzas work because they give you time to reflect, it's like afterthoughts or sub thoughts as you read along.

  • 12 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Typos: in the twelfth stanza where it says "And her minds wraps itself..." I believe "minds" is supposed to be "mind." It would make more sense that way... but it is your poem. Just giving my opinion :)

    I ache for the girl, whoever she is. Whether she be you, or someone that you know. I get the feeling that her dad probably has a job or something that caused him to leave and he hasn't come back until now. Or maybe he just got up one day and left - either one is possible :(

    "how she feels like
    a broken disappointment."

    ^ Here the reader can tell that she doesn't feel like she is loved, or respected enough. She probably feels that everything she does isn't good enough for her family - she could never please them, especially her dad.

    "Does he even know
    she's attempted to leave
    the world,
    that his bright baby girl
    was breathing on thoughts
    of suicide?"

    ^ I don't know if I am on the right track here, but this is what I think. This is how I understand your poem. In this stanza, the girl went through so much pain because she felt abandoned by her dad. She was contemplating suicide because she thought that no one loved her. She probably couldn't get anyone to understand either, or she felt like no one understood.

    "And if she could truly speak
    the truth, instead of his odious
    memories belting their way out,
    she'd say,
    we've been fine without you, dad,
    and I sometimes wish you would
    have called me first,
    to let me know that things haven't
    changed.
    But they have, God knows they have."

    ^ I don't really know what is going on in this poem. I know that the girl does not want her father to come back home. However, I don't understand what has changed. That is what is confusing me. Maybe she has changed? That is a possibility. I have no idea.

    This is a very sad, heartbreaking poem. It is about a girl who has been wounded by her father because he has not been in her life enough. It sucks big time :( I'm sorry to whomever had to go through such a thing because being betrayed by a loved one, or abandoned, is the worst imaginable pain anyone can ever feel...

    Excellent
    5/5

More Poems By Poet on the Piano