Birds

by Angel   Jun 8, 2012


Okay so i wrote this a few months back for a school project and well it sucks but i felt like posting it. critique it all you want. and you can definetaly laugh :)

I look up,
And see the sky.
I see how the birds,
Fly so high.

I wish that I,
Could be up there.
Flying around,
Without a care.

Eat, chirp, and build,
Flying all around.
Leaving their feathers,
All over the ground.

I tilt back,
My head,
as I lay snug,
In my bed.

I lay thinking,
Of my day,
And how the birds,
Can find their way.

I feel my back,
Smooth without wings,
And wish I was a bird,
Among other things.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    The introduction was amazing. It painted a picture in my mind of a girl staring at birds in the sky.

    Your wishes and desires in the 2nd stanza i think are dreams of most people. They all wish to fly with the birds and just not care about life anymore, hope your wish comes true though..lol

    The imagery you put in this piece is amazing and you use simple words that flow freely and wonderfully.

    Loved the part you describe you sit on your bed just wondering about birds, i felt it was amazing and well expressed.

    The ending was also amazing, loved how you expressed your hopes of having wings of your own and just flying with the birds, well written.

  • 12 years ago

    by average thoughts

    I wish that I,
    Could be up there.
    Flying around,
    Without a care.

    lovely and smooth...loved it

  • 12 years ago

    by Yrem Crish

    Angel, I really like your poem...I like the imagery and the simile here. Very well written.
    5/5
    ~C

  • 12 years ago

    by Kelwin lost in thought

    Oh nice :-)

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