Despicable me

Once more I have buried myself in oil,
you cannot see the despicable me.
Soon my body will rest in the soil.
I pray silently my soul will be free.

Not that long ago I looked deep within
when my heart, soul, and mind were almost one.
Gluttony or sloth was not my worst sin
and I did not feel like I weighed a ton.

Everyone loves me while I am this fat,
that is all but the despicable me,
but it seems I somehow overcame that
satisfied with much less than I can be.

My anger surrendered, my pride was hurt,
it will take some time for the scars to heal.
I am prescribed pills to make me inert.
My still soul seems like steel too hard to feel.

Not asking for pity, or even love,
just for the will power to rise above.
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