Fatality

by Restless Hearts   Jun 9, 2012


She woke up from nightmares crying
Realising her dreams were dying
She left without a word,
no one noticed, no one heard.

Tears running down her face
all she needed was some space
she came upon a dirty track
Shaking hard but no turning back

she sat for long in the rain,
waiting for that final train
ending her life and soul forever
she told herself its now or never.

it was fast, not slow
when delivering the fatal blow
she took her secrets to her grave
this little girl could never have been saved.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Typos: in the third stanza, the first line says "she sat for long in the rain," this doesn't really make sense to me. I know what you are trying to say, but the words are in such a way that it doesn't sound quite right. I would suggest changing the wording to something like "she sat for hours in the rain" or something like that. However, its your poem so you do what you want :) its just my opinion.

    Its a very good poem, and one that brings sadness. From what I understand she woke up one day and decided to end her life by jumping in front of a train. Maybe you could have somehow made it so that we could have known why she ended her life - that would have made the poem a little bit more relatable.

    Overall, very good poem.
    4/5

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