Comments : Together, But Separated (collab)

  • 12 years ago

    by Meme

    I am really proud of what we accomplished here. Its a pleasure to write with you Joe :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    I really love this collab, it has such amazing flow and poise, the stanzas link superbly and the images and emotions just.jumped right at.me :-)

    Epic write.guys loving your collab :-)

  • 12 years ago

    by DarkLight

    Wow. this is a catchy piece.actually t should be awarded 2votes fr every vote made.5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    Separated by distance, but not by dreams
    two bodies adored, two souls entwined.
    Separated, but united as one, two lovers -
    pave the way towards each others hearts....

    Great introduction you have hear. Though you might be far from each other, you still have each other in your dreams and you can never be separated because your souls bond. Wonderful words and really well expressed. The last line was really amazing, it shows the in depth connection you have with this loved one of yours and how you just seem to find each other.

    Separated by the windy rain and breeze,
    there's just too much in between.
    Separated, yet still they breathe...
    synchronized like that of a beating heart...

    I thought the windy rain and breeze meant alot of things. It could be uncertainty or mistrust, just alot of things that can separate you two. Though separated, you still go coz you are together always. In the first line, "breaze" should be "breeze", just a minor mistake i saw.

    Together in memories, one body, one soul
    asking a question, praying for the answer.
    Together, but so far apart, via their words,
    a pact is written, smiles emerge...

    Though we might not be together with someone, memories are always there to remind us of them and the things we did. Loved the use of one body, one soul just shows how you two are really connected, that everything you do, you do as one, you mind each other in everything you do, wonderfully written. Via your own words, you create a strong pact that can never be broken.

    Together in a world filled with possibilities
    still their roads were never crossing.
    Together, word by word, a path was built
    despite the many obstacles that may be seen...

    Though the world is really full of possibilities, it seems some people are never lucky and dont get to experience them. Using your own very words, you created a path that joined you two despite whatever was in your way...

    Overall, i really loved this piece, that is was a collab, i dint really know. You have really managed to put it together amazingly. Great work from you two.

  • 12 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    You two done awesome, this flowed so beautifully. The emotion really captures the reader... great job. :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Amreen

    Wow.... Simply awesome... wonderful collab you two... :) to express about love is always unending... How much ever you try to express it, you would always want to talk more, blush more and love more... I couldn't make it that it is a collab. Good team work:)

    Separated by distance, but not by dreams
    two bodies adored, two souls entwined.
    Separated, but united as one, two lovers -
    pave the way towards each others hearts.

    ^^

    The start is genuinely beautiful... I liked the first line very much...Love is always for two to be one...

    Separated by the windy rain and breaze,
    there's just too much in between.
    Separated, yet still they breathe...
    synchronized like that of a beating heart.

    ^^

    Here it is obvious that the lovers are seperated by distance but still the love they contain for each other isnt far but always present and the line is so touching..!

    Together in memories, one body, one soul
    asking a question, praying for the answer.
    Together, but so far apart, via their words,
    a pact is written, smiles emerge.

    ^^

    A vivid and elegant imagery created here... love seems everywhere...

    Together in a world filled with possibilities
    still their roads were never crossing.
    Together, word by word, a path was built
    despite the many obstacles that may be seen.

    ^^

    Yes relationships need understanding and care and that way they build in strength...

    Great and I loved it:)