What I like about your poems is you wright an amazing piece that flows and just rhythms so perfectly, but not only that, but your poems tell a great story, or tell a powerful experience that can massively relate to your readers. In other words your poems are not just rampant ramblings about pointless things, instead they are works of art.

This poem again was nearly perfect in all aspects, such a sad and emotional experience a mother must go through when her child does not make it into this world. Any mother who has lost a child would be in tears after reading such a powerful poem like this.

My only suggestion is in line two, the sentence could use a few more syllables and also have proper structure, its the only line in the poem that threw me off just a tiny bit.

In Hospital on that sad day

my minor suggestion would be:

In the Hospital on that very sad day

Such a minor thing, and of coarse its just my opinion. I'm only a touch more critical because the poem is SOOO amazing and deserves the attention.

So glad I ran across your poetry!

I came back to re -review why I suggested the change in line 3 of this poem.

I realized that if you changed it how I previously suggested then you would have to add the word "and" to the next line to make it work.

thus in a small sense I didnt accurately fix the (in my opinion) slight hick up I seen in the poem.

to see what I mean.

Farewell my babe, now I must mourn
I weep and grieve 'cause you weren't born
In the Hospital on that very sad day
They came with God, and took you away.

...

then I realized that your way is just fine,
but... could use a comma to help force a slight delay.... here

In Hospital on, that sad day

Sometimes comma's (though not probably correct grammar) for the reader delay things in such a way that slightly helps the flow of a poem.

All in all though its fine how it is

IN FACT IT'S BRILLIANT !

Brilliant!

I like your poem its very sad but great, keep up the good work

Again another brilliant poem. SOmething I can relate to. I had a stillborn baby due to domestic abuse. I've also had 2 miscarriages. What a beautiful poem. It brought a tear to my eye.

"Farewell my babe, now I must mourn
I weep and grieve 'cause you weren't born
In Hospital on that sad day
They came with God, took you, away
I had such dreams for you and me
I wanted you to grow and 'be'
But God took you for Him to keep
and now I grieve, and cry, and weep"

The flow in this stanza is great and it goes together well. I can really feel the powerful of greiving in the beginning.

"Were you a boy with eyes so blue?
If only a picture, I had of you
A girl with soft and fairest hair?
For me to hold, in arms, 'be there?'"

This part is so sad, and the emotion. This stanza has really stuck me because I've been in this situation before...

"
I cry, you'll never grow in me
You've gone away, eternity
I'm left alone with just my dreams
I'm lost in thoughts, 'what might of been..'"

Again I relate to this. The flow is continous, the way you write this situation out onto a single piece of paper is amazing. I couldn't put it better.

"But what I need to say to you
My boy or girl with eyes so blue

'My Darling child, I DID love you ...'"

I feel that the ending of this poem, was a bit forced and it kind of dropped off. This is still a great write though! Great job, brilliant.

Beautiful yet sad :)

Peter what a beautiful poem, so much emotion put into the poem.
I could almost picture the pain of a parent losing one of their children
My condolences go out to Rebecca xoxxo

Peter, I feel a little silly for liking this but it was a beautifully written yet raw piece and I bet if Rebecca got to read this she would have been happy that she had people like you Ro help her through the difficult time. I can relate fo this as I lost a baby boy (I had just found 2 weeks previous he was going to be a boy) due to domestic violence.
Take care and never stop writing, you're words are always emotional and flow perfectly.