Comments : Eternal Destination (haiku)

  • 12 years ago

    by Kitty Kurse

    I don't really catch what the subject is.. and the first line has four syllables not five, perhaps add in another word or something. I like the concept thought. The emotion could have been more though..

  • 12 years ago

    by East Poetry

    Six feet below
    the never ending silence,
    speaking... light and love.

    I was under the impression that a Haiku could have up to 17 syllables, where it would be ok if one line fell short just a touch. I'll have to look into it though.

    There actually is great meaning to this tiny piece.

    let me explain

    Six feet below -
    means death, or the death of our bodies on this earth.

    the never ending silence,
    This further adds to the power of the first line
    meaning... at least for our bodies, we enter into a never ending silence when we die.

    Speaking... light and love -
    this line is the joyous ending, contrasts the word silence by saying the word "speaking", but also and more importantly it contrasts the ideas of Death by insinuating you are in the next life, alive and well... speaking light and love. Become one with light has some very powerful meaning to me, you may figure out if you read more of my poems (Existence is a bead of light, to name just one of many)
    Anyway, after we die here on earth, it simply is not over, hence the name of the title - Eternal Destination.

    This poem holds a lot of deep meaning to me, perhaps with a bit of explaining it can have more value to you now... I don't know :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Darren

    I think it is the speaking part that confuses people, How about spoken?

    Only joking, great poem, good use of haiku method, I thought myself it could be 16 as well, if it has to be 17 then change the six feet to sixteen!!!
    You can judge how good a poem is by how much an an explanation you can give to it's meaning. Only 11 words long with a 149 word explanation. good stuff. Love the title by the way. It is the reason I read it.

  • 12 years ago

    by Karla

    Amazing!

    Love and Light!

    Karla