The curse of Tommy Harper

Okay...I have been reading a few dark poems just a minute ago so I am in the right frame to comment now...I must say that this is really good and dark and I like it...

I will however point some things out...

I see his face even when my eyes
banish his image
I can feel his fingers crawling all
over my body
How can i escape from the memories,
the life he took away
Why can't i forget the one person i wish
never excisted.

^ "Existed", not "excisted"

I have noone all i had was him,he used
me to create evil
But now its me paying the price
in this cell...
waiting ...
wanting ...
to die.

^ "No-one" Not "Noone"

He murdered sixty five people in
five diffrent states
Sliting each throat with a rusty knife
and a smile on his face.

^ "Slitting" not "Sliting"

I sit in this prison cell knowing i have
to end this
As i put the homemade blade to my neck
i make sure that on the 666 day
he will kill his sixty sixth in six diffrent states...

^ Remove "Prison", we know what kind of cell it is, just kills the flow.

Add some punctuation and make the "i"s capital...

Apart from that...Good piece

Wow... that is extremeky gruesome. I love it!

Whatever it is we do wrong in life
sooner or later it will catch up with us,
there is no hiding. Sadly, some people
just possessed with evil and no matter what
they have no remore and regard nor nothing
and nobody.
5/5

A fantastic dark poem! I love it! I love how you incorporated 666 in it to associate with evil in this and also how you put the amount of hours that he had been counting while he was in jail. I'm adding to my favs! :)

5/5

This, my friend, is an excellent dark poem. Very good and very, very, extremely creepy in my opinion. Just out of curiosity, is there an actual serial killer named Tommy Harper? I couldn't find anything on him, so I am assuming this is a person from your imagination... o.O

Typos: I don't know if this is an actual word where you live, but fourth stanza, first line, "I have noone all..." is "noone" supposed to be "no one" ? Just thought I would mention it :]

Anyway, this is a very excellent poem like I said. I have never read a poem like this one before, so I am still quite surprised. I like how you used the number 666, known as the devil's number. It is a good reference to evil, so it went perfectly with this poem. I also like how you gave the "exact" day, and the "exact" time as well at the beginning - it made the poem really realistic and all the more creepy.

My most favorite part of this would have to be the whole story line of this poem. The person who is telling the story must be possessed my Mr. Tommy Harper, correct? That is what it sounds like to me. And he is going to put an end to it by killing himself so that Harper will never kill again. Excellent story line if this is it, yet still excellent if it isn't.

Excellent creepy dark poem
5/5