I finally did it, I read an explicit poem!!

There is some very strong emotions played out in this, You tell the story very well and it is very moving.
I like the line

Longing to feel your hands caress me once more-as I cry myself to sleep

real pain in this one,

Only heart ache left wrenching deep within the broken walls of this chest

Great ending ending.

thanks for the read.

Typos: first stanza, last line 'heart ache' should be one word. It is your poem, just trying to give helpful advice :]

Wow Sherry, this is a very intense poem. However, I didn't think that this belonged in the erotic section - it just didn't seem really erotic to me :[ it might be just me though...

"Denounced by strangers and family alike
Desperately trying to accommodate their every wish
Often left desolate and empty - nothing more to hide - nothing left to give
Only heart ache left wrenching deep within the broken walls of this chest"

^ This is a very good beginning. When I first read it, I was wondering now what could have happened here? What did this girl do to cause her family to basically disown her? Very good beginning.

""You should be embarrassed" they often shout aloud
Never once considering how the events played out
Just a few short months ago I was once your wife
Until that dreadful New Years Eve night."

^ I really like how you gave a time and a day in this stanza. However, I would have expanded the thought to make it a little more interesting. I wanted to know what happened on that night - the girl in the poem was his wife right? So...I wouldn't think that any infidelity would be done but I have no idea...

"Do they even consider how I hide under your blanket every night
Tightly clinging to the small wooden barn frame
With your photograph still tucked neatly inside
Longing to feel your hands caress me once more-as I cry myself to sleep"

^ You kind of gave a clue as to what happened, but not really. All that I can figure out is that he is not there. I don't know if he actually died, or if he just got up, left and never came back. I also know that the girl really misses him.

"No more candle light dinners for two - you and me
Our lives together came to an immediate halt - a brutal end
No longer seen as a loving and loyal wife standing by your side
Instead I am just a fourteen year old pregnant ___, in the public eye."

^ When I first read this stanza, I was a little confused. I was wondering to myself, "fourteen year old wife???" That is such a young age to get married...and why would people call her a ___ ? Maybe some infidelity did occur o.O so many options!

Well, now that I have gone through almost every stanza, I am still curious as to what happened. My mind is leading me to different places here...but you are the poet of this poem and I am the reader so only you know what happened :)

Very good, mind boggling poem, Sherry.

Excellent
5/5

Oo, was that yours?

Remarkable. I think having her describe her status as Wife at 14 confuses the read. I suppose the term is used figuratively, but I do know it happens, often with the same result. I don't think she'd come under the same castigation ("slut") if she'd really been married.

All that aside, the poem is strong and dynamic. The resolve by the protagonist forces the reader to side with her and to expect that, one way or another, she's going to make it without compromising herself.

I guess you put it in the explicit section when first submitted? I'm glad you've changed that.

That was such a sad story, Sher. Usually, when I read something about teenagers (like myself) I don't know why I think of childhood... My childhood, the way I had one been ignorant, carefree (not completely) and reckless. Being a fourteen-year old girl in a sick society, then what it would feel like when she is also pregnant and suffering like this? When dad tells us (me and my sis) such stories, I think like... that's gross, why wouldn't anybody even care? We all are sinners in the end, we are humans not angels nor gods or goddesses. We all make mistakes.

I know that this wasn't personal but it really was heartfelt, like you really lived that tale.

Well-done.

Jaw dropping write....!!!! It is indeed intense....
Goooood beginning and every line clings me to the poem to know what happened with the girl.... sorrowful though but at the end, she accepts her life and that what pleases me....^^
Our time together exceeded quickly by - leaving me behind
But now my love; a miniature version of you
Continues to grow abundantly within my belly and heart
As I am pleased to announce we are both alive and kicking.

^^^
Though every verse was excellent and filled with the right amount of emotions, this verse makes me smile as the girl, despite her compromises, her bitter reality to some extent is pleased to welcome in her life a new gift, their sign of love and feels she would be content with his arrival.... so beautiful...

Great write
:)))

This is a captivating tale. I am relieved to have read in one of the comments that this did not happen to you , though. It would've been really scary. So knowing that, I am in awe with the degree of emotion you poured into this poem. It made me think that this really did happen to you. When I first read the title, it made me think that this poem would not be sad, but it is. You surprise the reader, especially with those final verses and that made me love this even more.
I have noticed a few things:
"Just a few short months ago I was once your wife" --- I think it is redundant to say "few short" because it is understandable that few is short and short is few. Maybe you could drop one of them or change one or the other with a more powerful adjective. I have the same comment with this line:
"Until that dreadful New Years Eve night." --- "eve night" doesn't quite fit, it sounds rather awkward, don't you think? Again, you could drop one or the other.
"No more candle light dinners for two - you and me" --- I think "candle light" could be changed to candle-lit/candlelit/candle lit.
Those are just my thoughts of course.
This is a beautiful poem which is infused with sadness. I got lost within the story - it is absolutely mesmerizing, hence, I enjoyed the read.

Chilling. I see all these long comments and wish I could do much better than this, but this poem just says so much, it left me speechless.
Hauntingly brilliant.

The first four lines immediately sets the tone of how a lot of teens feel because they are that moment where they are no longer a child and not quite grownup and nothing they seem to do fits in or is right.

What is frustrating is when other people pass judgement on them without understanding at all who they are and what they are going through.

Young lovers sharing a bed and moments of life together, to them it feels like marriage.

The fact that no one realises that she
cries herself to sleep snuggling in his
blanket still holding his photo reiterates
the lack of understanding of all around her and reinforced her feelings of isolation

The reminiscing about good times, the sudden halt and that people still continue to judge wrongly. Not seeing her as someone having lost her love and still grieving but instead just another young pregnant fool

The joy of still having a part of her love still
with her growing inside. Her inner strength shines through as she announces that she and her baby are still alive, as a kick back at the society that doesn't understand her.

This poem shows such a deep understanding
of teenagers, love and shows clearly how they are often misjudged by people who have no idea who they are or the challenges that they face.

Very well written