Mornings, Tears, and Conversation

Isn't too early for tears?

...nah ain't such thing
my love.

I cry every morning,
when I wake up.
although never actual tears,
I still feel them running down
my cheeks. you can't really see them.
but they are there.

every morning when I wake up,
I sigh, one, two, sometimes even six
times. before I can pull myself out
of bed and get ready to try and survive
another purposeless day.

sometimes, the lump in my throat
is so big, I can't even manage to
say "good morning" to those who come here.
it won't come out. although I want it to.

and yeah, I did get my high school Diploma.
I made it, despite all the odds.
but, paper doesn't fill my hunger. I have three
of those already, and none of them ever
filled my hunger. I felt relieved. yes.
overwhelmed for a moment. yes.
over the moon lost in the excitement
but that fades away, and I fall into my hole again.

I can't get over how unhappy I am,
I can't get over how miserable my life is..
I hate everything around me, my love.

lets just pray I get that job,
I hold on a little longer, pack my bags
and move.

..far away from here.