Black Blood

Your writing is amazing! The way you can capture an idea and pen it with so much power amazes me.

For one thing, the title on this holds a lot of power in itself and compliments the power which is in the poem.

Black mascara runs
down my forehead
because my life has
been turned upside
down that the tears
don't fall as they
should.

- This is such a unique start to a poem showing off your creativity and talent. I can clearly picture this and feel the sense of the pain of feeling like your world is upside down. I can also see another picture of a girl lying upside down on her bed, the tears flowing down her forehead like you describe, thinking of her life. Great opening.

I begin to wonder
how my blood would
look dripping against
my milky skin and if
the cuts would release
the ache that slowly
seeps from within.

- This really shows the deep pain that she is feeling and the desperation for it to be gone, by any means. You know she must be in a lot of heart ache to be thinking of harming her self just to ease the pain. I like the use of the world milky, it gives off so much more power and uniqueness than the simple word white.

I've been bit by my
own hand and my teeth
have sunken in leaving
it raw until the scars penetrate
through to my bones.

- again, it is not just your words it is the imagery you are creating so strongly here. It is so vivid that you can actually visualize a hand with a bite mark on it representing the pain and frustration.

Squeeze me until the
sadness I'm drenched in
trickles down my body
and exposes its poison

- What I got from this was the cry of help for anything to take away the pain. to be squeezed so tight that in a way the pain from that would over take the pain inside.

Can you feel the pain I
have been inflicting on
myself? My mind and
body is a marriage made
in hell.

- Excellent way to end your poem, starting witht he question which I can immediatly answer yes to. You can feel the pain through out the whole poem. As for comparing your body and mind to a marriage, that is a very powerful ending. You can instantly hear the arguing and see the fighting and the disagreements.

I loved it and thought you done an amazing job. 5/5

An excellent poem Lioness!!True potential!!!

Wow...not just the title but the beginning too,caught my attention!!
Well done in deed!

So very sad :( my heart burned as I read it. I loved your flow and how you were conistant with the keeping of the tone of the poem. This made an excellent read. I love a gritty poem you can feel as you read and this piece did exactly that.

5/5

Amazing poem. You really express your self-hatred in the last stanza. I hope this was not auto-biographical cause self-harm is never an option. Writing down what you feel is the only way to getting some perspective cause then your words can rest as well as your mind.

5/5