My Life Thus Far

This is so warm and motivational. Its an inspirational write. I love the simplicity on how you wrote the poem and conveyed the message. Despite all odds you happy with your achievements so far. How determined of you to want to further persue your ambitions. Its always good to persevere and follow dreams to realisation. We all have our destinies carved from the beginning but its left to us to see its fruition.

We are what we make of our lives, no one will claim our life and live for us. We should always set our goals straight and be responsible individuals for ourselves and the society. Be proud of your golas so far and keep treading to claim your dreams.
I enjoyed this piece so much.
Good work!

I love your poems, Paul. They are always eye-opening. Technically speaking, I didn't like the lack of punctuation as it reads too fast (at least for me). Other than that, this really was well-penned :)

'In my life,
I have grown to
be socially aware
of the suffering of
the less privileged'
^ This is a great start. I like how you emphasised 'my' life instead of saying life in general because people live different lives from each other.
My only suggestion here is to make 'suffering' plural. It sounds better to me, but it's your call :)

'I have had my share
of suffering as a little
child growing up
in the slums of chilinde'
^ Great. 'Chilinde' establishes more detail here. I only wish you'd have capitalised the 'c'. This is still great, though

'Everyday was a struggle,
fighting to find food
and school fees so
in future, I make something
of myself'
^ This really is one of the saddest verses I've read in quite a while. It makes the reader such as myself, to see through your eyes. I would've preferred a semi-colon as opposed to the comma after 'struggle' though. But just a suggestion :)

'A couple of years later now,
I smile as I reflect on my life
thus far, I made something of
myself, am 19 but 3rd year
in college and am not stopping
there'
^ Hope and determination was elegantly presented here. I like it.
However, the first line would do without 'now'. Also, this part revealed a little more of the persona's life/background. Yet it still is relatable because the reader can relate with their own achievement(s).

'The sky will never be my
limit for I know with my success,
I will even sun bath on the sun'
^ A very powerful ending. I think 'bath' should be 'bathe', and 'on' should be 'under'..?

Overall, this is a really well-penned piece. Keep it up :)

Paul,

This poem is a testament to your past efforts, it's a long haul and a hard one. The tough journey will be worth it at the end of the day.

You are to be commended on your accomplishments to date, but I am sure there will be many more you shall add to your list as time goes by.

As you have rightly said there is no limit!

This is a good piece of inspirational poetry.

Beautiful Paul. I do know what you are talking about. I was raised listening my father saying:"study, study because it is the only thing that nobody will ever steal from you".

Great write,

I love ending the most, it's optimistic, sun bath on the sun...the sky is not the limit.

Those lines are good to ponder on.