Never

Walking down an alley way,
coated with fear of the unknown,
squeezing my heart like
a long lost memory.

- good starting to the poem, you have set the place and the emotions of which you are feeling so the reader instantly can follow on reading feeling connected to the writer.

I've had enough tonight,
it's time I rebel and give
into the anger that has
choked me one last time.

- I could relate to this, it reminds me of the times when you feel so angry but scared to release it. sometimes it comes out as endless sobs, other times screams, and in your case in an almighty act of rebellion. I also like the stand you take in saying " choked me one last time" you are showing you mean business and that is enough!

I've got a graffiti message
to share with the entire world,
this heartbeat is laced with a
poison that has consumed
the nice part of me, I'm done!

- We are now starting to see the pain which you are holding inside and the affect is has had on you having to consume it all inside. I like the idea of graffiti because it is an act of rebellion so many can relate to and straight away I want to read on to find out if you do it, and what you do!

I see its time for me to outline
my sorrow in fire engine red,
filling in my anger in passion pink,
splattering tears within each letter,
exploiting this rage from within.

- love the way you tell us your choice of colours! Red clearly representing your anger and pain. You have given such clear imagery here I can picture this erupting out from you and can sense the relief inside of finally being able to let it out.

I've heard enough of the exhausting
and repetitious lies from strangers
who hold my love's life in their hands,
giving up is not an option....

- again, I like the strength you give yourself here. Taking a stand and putting your foot down from any more trouble from others. You chose the words exhausting and repititious which gives us the knowledge that it has been going on for such a long time it is becoming that of a broken record.

so I paint along that mighty brick wall,
one more time-

"Never"

- In this part of your writing I can visualize this word along the wall, I can picture the ally you are in and the paint cans in your hand. It feels like I have travelled down the ally with you, watching every action!

I am naked and tired-
slipping back into bed, I hold him close
and whisper "see you in the morning"....

- Great ending as you show just how much your partner means to you and how much you are willing to fight for him.

Such a powerful poem, I loved it. Well done.

Oh hun the moment we give up, it all ends. I am glad that you have said never. This is so beautiful, heartbreaking. I feel like being totally emotional right now but I am at work. If I was home and alone I'd be in tears though I want to be right now.

I love your poetry hun and I love you, you are oneeeee tough cookie!!! I admire that in you.

Lots of love hun

x

Andrea, This brought me to tears, I swear, I am just a blubbering mess...not the best way to be...but seriously no other emotion is in me right now...

You just wrote from the heart and made me feel everything... you are one hell of a writer, I would only wish it was in better circumstances you wrote with this power...

Love always...
hugs

Gahhh I hate when you write about james, it tears me up to the core....

Never giving up is what makes the sick stronger. Continously giving love, which you do, helps so much and its beautiful....

As far as the poem, loved the idea of writing in graffiti. That was awesome. You're such a sweet soul and your husband is a lucky man!

Typos: now from what I understand you are talking about something/someone that has hurt your partner...if that is true then in this sentence: "who hold my loves life in their hands," the word 'loves' should be 'love's' because it is his life - its a possessive. Also, 'heart beat' should be one word in the third stanza.

Now Andrea, I do not mean to be prude, but I thought this poem was actually kind of cute :] It is like you were ready to go to war with whoever upset your husband.

"I've had enough tonight,
it's time I rebel and give
into the anger that has
choked me one last time."

^ I hate it when that happens. You have all of this anger built up because of not being able to do anything about it, and then you are finally pushed to the last straw and you just want to explode. You feel like you can do anything with all this anger. At least that is what I feel like with it :[

"I've got a graffiti message
to share with the entire world,
this heart beat is laced with a
poison that has consumed
the nice part of me, I'm done!"

^ This is a beautiful stanza. I like how you used graffiti as your type of presentation - how you would declare that it is over. To me, graffiti is a beautiful art form - I love looking out at the trains and seeing all the different designs that people come up with :) Also, I love it how you used poison - such a serious, dark word! It makes the reader realize how angry you have become.

I can go on and on about this poem, but I am not going to. I just want you to know that this is beautiful, and wonderful, and I hope your husband knows how lucky he is to have you. Beautiful - loved it.

Excellent/beautiful/wonderful
5/5