Rosa Alchemica

This is mystic and strangely wonderful with great rhymes!I liked it!
5/5

I like how you referred to Venus. I like mythoogy. I like the rhymes. I like everything in you.

I'm interested as to what made you write in a strictly rhyming form as opposed the styles you've adopted in recent pieces. I'm not a huge fan of rhyme but I suppose the syntax and sentence structures do the tone of the poem a favour.

It's a nice poem. Not my favourite from you but still well written. I enjoy the repetition of the roses in every line. I also liked the drama in the narrative, though the third stanza read very clumsily for me:

'a white rose I gently hold' is awkward. Not just because of the syntax. I just think of 'gently' being a cheap adverb in the context of the poem. It doesnt say much. And with a poem like this, you'd want each line to say as much as possible. 'shy trees' is a much more interesting image. I also wasn't sure on the usage of 'marry' in the final stanza either, though I guess I haven't got an alternative in mind...that's the technical aspects out of the way anyway!

This poem is rich in mythology. I haven't much insight into the symbolism of the red and white roses in alchemy but I perhaps understand the Venus and Isis crying paralleled to Adonis and Orisis dead is parallelling red and white roses? Masculine/feminine? Solar/lunar? The rose is one of the most multi-symbolic things in the world, and here, whilst I'll admit I'm not too sure on all the references here, I enjoyed the fact this seemed a celebration of the rose as a symbol, the female body, power, loss, love, all of what it encompasses. There is always more to your words than meets the eye. That's a great thing.

Beautiful, I love the rhymes in this piece.