Comments : WAR

  • 12 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    I like the title "War"
    there are so many wars being fought
    and all it does detroy lives. Nothing really has been gained, other than pain and suffer
    people killing eachother for their beliefs
    we are people, regardless of our religion
    or color or backround
    excellent written

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    Now I like your philosophical view towards war, especially in the first stanza. And your fast-paced style just made your piece more suitable for the WAR topic. It's like you are forwarding war till the point when it ends, just to say: It is over now - so what?

    I love this.
    And for me, I suggest you just keep the: War : title.

    I

  • 12 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Typos: I believe second stanza, fourth line, that 'mus' needs to be 'mud.' That is the only word that I can think of that rhymes with 'blood.'

    There is a part here that I don't think fits very well. Third stanza, the words 'waged' and 'raged' are too similar to me and it kind of kills the flow - at least for me. I have no idea what you would turn it to though...however it is your poem, and that is just my opinion.

    I really like the message in this poem. It is very true. My favorite part would have to be the ending because it sums it all up. It is all a game about winning, but in the end millions of lives are taken. I don't really understand how they can play with people's lives like that...

    Excellent poem. I hope you feel the same way I do...and if you don't I am sorry if I offended you in any way :[
    5/5