Flash back

Okay I'm going to say sorry in advance as this might turn into like maybe a story type thing but either way here it is

As i sit here
On this floor
Already to go
Away with this world
I've had enough
I've got the note
I have even got the knife ready to go
I think to myself well its now or never
I stop and think
I flashback to a time where i was happy
There i am playing in the grass
My sister picking flowers
My mum smiling and laughing
My dad sitting with my mum just watching
the suns shinning the birds even sound happy
its perfect then a new scene
Its dark my sisters yelling and crying I'm screaming
my dad is no where to be seen
My mum screaming at both of us
"YOU NEED TO TRY HARDER AT SCHOOL I DON'T CARE IF YOU FAIL TRY HARDER!" I'm yelling at her saying "I'm sorry mummy i didn't get it i didn't no what to do"
I feel the slap
The sting of it across my face
My sister stands up and runs i follow
It changes again
Its a beautiful day we are the beach smiling and laughing but i can see the tears that had been the redness from the slap the hurt in my eyes
They said it couldn't follow me at school
They were wrong
"Ugly"
"Fat"
"Loser"
"Retard"
"Lame"
"Stupid"
"Mud"
"Worthless"
"Rubbish"
the words i carry round
I kept it bottled up
Then i flashback to that day
I had kept it bottled till that day i thought
oh well its my last day anyway
so i walked up to the girls who tormented me
And said "i hope your happy" and with tears streaming down my face i punched them all in the face kicked them to the ground and ran but stopped as i reached him...He looked up and saw me he looked at me like you would look at a dog before you put it down
So do you what i did i ran up to him I've had a crush on him since forever and i kissed him i heard the gasp the shocked noise and again i ran i ran all the way home through the door to floor and now i am back in the present
But what will the future be..
I take a plunge i stab again i want her to find me
Not my mum but the one the ring leader she will come and find me dead one the floor covered in blood mangled i hope she sees what she done
as she ruined my life
So I'm going to ruin hers