Three floors

Wow, I loved reading this....it captured my attention yet also my senses as to what I would feel and what emotion would play in my mind as I made this trip in the elevator. I know, for me, it can be creepy thinking about all the things that could go wrong, it getting stuck, not having enough oxygen. I love your originality here and how you described it simply, yet effectively. I thought it was just the right amount that had me wondering- there was that mystery of thought at the end. Really enjoyed how you crafted this, the top floor being with genuinely cheerful people holding champagne glasses, and the basement burning, smelling of flesh. Only thing is in the first stanza, "know" should be "no".

Otherwise, really interesting thought, left me pondering for sure!!
~MaryAnne

This idea is very unique, i liked your use of an elevator to portray the directions of heaven and hell.

I liked the question at the end, I like questions in poetry as you can't help but wonder over them.

I thought that this was an extremely original poem, due to the fact that I have never read a poem about elevator floors. The metaphors here are interesting, and quite frightening in a way. Very well thought out, Tony. I hope you don't mind if I call you that.

First off, I like how you start off with the floor. That is very helpful, at least to me :)

'I enter this elevator, I look around
yet there are know buttons to be
pressed, not one choice to make
just three walls and a door with a
light that blinks barley revealing my shadow.'

^ This is a very good beginning, but I thought that there could have been more to make it seem more mysterious. Also, I think that you could have given an image here to show what was on Earth like you did for Heaven and Hell - just a thought... The 'know' in the second line needs to be 'no.'

'The doors opens with such elegance
my eyes widen to the sight of men women
and children all in white, the most gracious
of melodies play while the toast of champagne
glasses and the joys of laugher is all my eyes see.'

^ This is probably my favorite stanza. I have always wanted to go here, where there are no worries in the world. I think you described this place very well, but nothing can never do it justice, I think. I am not saying that what you wrote is bad, I am just saying that it is so hard to describe in words. Love this stanza. In the last line, 'laugher' is supposed to be 'laughter' and I think 'is' is supposed to be 'are' because you are talking about more than one thing.

'I stand there in the dark as the doors
finally open my eyes widen to flames and
small cells, the smell of death and rotting flesh
bring tears to my eyes as I know this is where
I belong.'

^ This stanza gives me chills whenever I read it. I really hate thinking of a place like this, but there is one out there. Or at least, that is what I believe. However, what I don't believe is the last part of this stanza, where is says 'I know this is where I belong' - I highly doubt that Tony. Even though I don't really know you that well, I don't think you belong here. Not at all! So get that thought out of you head.

'What are you
Heaven or hell?.'

^ For this, it is a really good ending. I like this - it makes the reader think about it. However, I would change the top line to something like, 'Where are you going' or something like that unless you mean something different with that line. It just doesn't fit with the poem the way it is, or at least for me. I would also get rid of the period at the end, because since you have the question mark, you don't need it.

I am not trying to change your poem in any way. I am just trying to help...I hope that I did not come off too harsh - I did not mean to if I did. I am just trying to help a little and give you my thoughts.

Overall, this poem is very, well done. It has some grammatical, and punctuational errors, but that is in almost every poem. I thought that this was well thought out, and can be very meaningful to everyone because we all wonder where we go when we die.

Excellent/beautiful/meaningful
5/5

This reminds me of a dream I had as a child...so I knew before I read what was to happen. Awesome how Earth heaven and hell all have their own floors...This is the line that jogged my memory:

I feel my self shooting towards the stars...

Overall nice write reminding us that there is an afterlife too, that we should worry about.

Enjoyed :)
Lostlove

I love the concept of using the elevator and floors... it's very creative! Loved it! :)