Comments : Tragic River

  • 12 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    HUGS*

    I can imagine how hard that was to write.....im at a loss for words to be honest, i love you syrup my heart goes out to you always xx

    • 12 years ago

      by Maple Tree

      Thank you squeaks... its been sitting in my unfinished poems for a few years now... just felt the need to fix it up and post.... something I needed to express ya know.... thank you for your hugs

  • 12 years ago

    by Meme

    O M G ! !

    N O M I N A T E D once I get my votes back.

    This is one of the most heartfelt poems I have ever read in my life. Hon, the amount of sadness is beyond the words, more than poems can ever express but yet you managed to pull it out and create this one.
    Then the way you ended it, just like that, unfinished and so sudden just brought tears into my eyes, I couldnt help it.

    My heart goes out to you dear .. xx

  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    Stop writing melancholy, ma'am!

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    This is heartbreaking and I feel for you, knowing that for this to be unfinished and now you felt you had to complete it, makes me feel you are in a place right now that isn't the greatest.

    Love you always...xxxx

  • 12 years ago

    by Lioness

    I don't know what to say but this piece was completely sad and moving. It really tore at my insides reading it. I think the last few lines blew me away as well. It is always sad when someone leaves us suddenly without warning. I am sorry that you have gone through this.

    Loved this poem hun.

    x

  • 12 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    Wow... this has absolutely broken my heart. So much sadness...the ending killed me... :( It's so true though, they always leave at a time that is never known and some things are always left unfinished. However, I also kind of feel like you got a bit of peace finally "finishing" this even if it does say it's unfinished, it's perfect.

  • 12 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Oh, Andrea. This is more than heartbreaking...this is soul shattering. I am so sorry for what you have endured. I can only imagine the pain that you went through - a part of you probably died when your father left this earth.

    'I've been writing this piece
    many years to date,
    for the river never stops flowing,
    as these tears of mine weep constantly,
    withering in the bottomless pit of my twisted,
    decaying roots.'

    ^ I like how you refer to yourself as a tree here. I know you like trees from reading your comments and you are a tree, Andrea. You stand strong - so strong that nothing can tear you down. That is beautiful.

    'You were the sun that gleamed upon a winter snow
    and as your brittle hands pulled the trigger to stop life,
    I began to crumble like a falling sparrow, perishing tragically within your last
    breath.'

    ^ I have to admit that I was a little shocked when I read this stanza. I did not expect this brutality to occur...it seems like he was one not to commit suicide if he was the sun that 'gleamed upon a winter snow.' I see that as a warm person, not someone who commits such an act...

    'Papa,
    You left my heart to bleed along the shadowed existence
    of your legacy, and its far time I finish this piece,
    and apologize to your spirit, for I despised your choice
    to end your life upon that hill,
    that river flows because of all the tears I shed for you, and still do-'

    ^ I was even more shocked when I realized that it was your father who committed suicide. There must have been something that was eating at him for him to leave his child like that. There is no reason to apologize here, Andrea - you did nothing wrong whatsoever. Suicide is said to be one of the most selfish acts out there. He simply wasn't thinking.

    I can only say that I am sorry that this happened to you. Like I said, I can only imagine the pain that you must have went through. I don't know how old you were when this happened, but it was probably a really young age which makes it even worse. I wanted to cry after I read this...

    Excellent/Soul shattering/heartbreaking
    5/5