Bridges

This could easily be a song... especially with the repetition... I like it a lot.

I read your explanation of it; you think that you are unworthy of anything because you made mistakes in life. I'm sure whatever you done/said will be forgiven. It may not seem like it, but there is still time to make better choices and to prove that you can be a better man, son, and lover.

A really powerful, emotional write!

Well i will explain each and every stanza for you...think of the razorblade part as a chorus. as i tend to write poetry in standard song format rather than poetic scheme.

This Rollerblade cant cut deep enough
Its stained with so much guilt
Its crooked with lasting ridges
to all the kindness I seem to scuff
and all these small intentions
destroying the house my mother built
I'm sorry I burned by bridges

its not about cutting. its about being sorry and how nothing can make that feeling go away. not even something like that release, and its kinda a way of how i would let my mother down by being self destructive

Pass the gasoline and burn them down
saying sorry one by one
From the top this old ocean town
I am ending what I had begun
This city sleeps and I hear its whisper
lullabies to keep my awake
This city dies in fire enchanted
from the ashes of I take

this stanza first off is saying if i am going to die then i want to watch what i hate burn before i go. saying sorry to the people i hurt. ending it, walking alone throughout town. just dreaming of death really. stealing the remains and keeping them

And now the end
the last song
the last poem
this is my goodbye
and now this pain
the last cut
the last burn
This is my goodbye

the last line sums it up pretty well. this was supposed to be my retirement from poetry.

And in time when my blood stops flowing
will I meet Him, the creator and knowing
my sins run deep and inside i weep
I cant seem to figure out where I'm going
I lost direction and on further inspection
I could have been a better son
I could have been will be the death of me
Whats worse than one is none
because the many shades of black are all I see

whats a worse hell than fire? being alone forever. whats worse than one is none. like being dead and no one cares. saying what i am sorry for, and hoping to be forgiven. "i could have been" will be the death of me, saying lifes too short to dwell of what could have been

I could have been a better lover
never letting you in
And when you left me all alone
seems that's where all this pain begins
from the very marrow of my bones
you see this thing with feelings
Ive never really figured them out
I just trace the shadows on the ceiling
So take this cry for help as my shout
you see I am really not okay
I feel like I am half way in the grave
and maybe i will live to see the day
where this time its you that I can save.

saying that i wasnt always a good lover. and how a lot of girls stuck there necks out for me only to be burned. this stanza is for someone in particular.
so to sum up the whole poem, its about dying, saying goodbye. regret, lost love, and regretting burning some cool friendships along the way. basically i have not been a great person

I like your poems, I really do.

In some of them, I have a bit of a thing for the repetition and in others, I think the repetition works.

And in time when my blood stops flowing
will I meet Him, the creator and knowing
my sins run deep and inside i weep
I cant seem to figure out where I'm going
I lost direction and on further inspection
I could have been a better son
I could have been will be the death of me
Whats worse than one is none
because the many shades of black are all I see

----As far as the poem starting with an "AND", well I don't see any problem with that.
I feel like you are about to tell me a story and I'm all ears for that.
I also I liked the rhyme of flowing and knowing, it makes a melody and it sounds smooth when reading.
I thought that you wanted to say: when my time is up, will I meet God (per se).
I had the feeling that it's a questions sort of because you are not sure if you are going to meet Him ( and no body is) but in your case you might feel like that because you have sins that are really deep. Perhaps, you don't feel worthy to meet Him. That's how I understood those first three lines. But I'm unsure of what type of sins you are referring..

and true, I could have been ... I could have been.. but we are not certain that if we were like that things will be better. In a way, I can understand why you used that when you said that that "I could have been the death of me".. Thinking and thinking and questioning doesn't lead to much.. and in some cases can make us feel worst.

I do have a bit of a hard time understanding the part

What's worse than one is none
because the many shades of black are all I see...

I don't understand the part about one is none.
Are you referring to a son? to have none is worst than having one?

or are you referring to death..
what's worst than having one is having none... and yeah, I think it will be worst if we didn't die. But I also think that it's better to die when our time is up.

Over all, I like how it sounds when I read it aloud.

This Rollerblade cant cut deep enough
Its stained with so much guilt
Its crooked with lasting ridges
to all the kindness I seem to scuff
and all these small intentions
destroying the house my mother built
I'm sorry I burned by bridges

---I like how you described the rollerblade.
and how it cannot cut deep enough.
I'm a bit puzzled about what you meant by" I burned by bridges"..

I could have been a better lover
never letting you in
And when you left me all alone
seems that's where all this pain begins
from the very marrow of my bones
you see this thing with feelings
Ive never really figured them out
I just trace the shadows on the ceiling
So take this cry for help as my shout
you see I am really not okay
I feel like I am half way in the grave
and maybe i will live to see the day
where this time its you that I can save

--- This stanza right here. It is my favorite.
I love how you said I just trace the shadows on the ceiling
and that's why you can't find your feelings because you don't look deep within.

and then it comes the sunny poetry part in my opinion

I feel like I am half way in the grave
and may be I will live to see the day
where this time it's you that i can save.

It's in a way romantic, at least the way, I interpret this part.
I mean that's what true love is, when you love someone and you wish the very best for that person, it doesn't matter if that someone doesn't love you back.

This Rollerblade cant cut deep enough
Its stained with so much guilt
Its crooked with lasting ridges
to all the kindness I seem to scuff
and all these small intentions
destroying the house my mother built
I'm sorry I burned by bridges

-- I feel that this poem will benefit a lot more if you take away the repetition, because this stanza right here. Already fulfilled its purposed, and I can still remember it from the first time I read it. And Also I was in love with the last stanza, It captivated me. and coming to this one made me a bit puzzled since I was looking forward to reading something different.

Pass the gasoline and burn them down
saying sorry one by one
From the top this old ocean town
I am ending what I had begun
This city sleeps and I hear its whisper
lullabies to keep my awake
This city dies in fire enchanted
from the ashes of I take

--- This one is a powerful stanza, darn it.
I feel like this stanza sort of explains what you meant by I'm sorry, I burned by bridges.
hmm.. So you see, you have a really powerful piece right here. The only problem that I have is the arrangement of the stanzas. That's just me though, don't get me wrong. I will arrange them and I hope I won't change the meaning of your poem. But here is the way, I feel would make more sense if the reader reads it. And also it might add more power to this piece by deleting the repetition of those stanzas. And really, the way I'm picturing this piece arrange in a different way, I feel that it will work better. But this is your poem and it's your choice as well. The below arranged me is just my suggestion. I just wanted to let you know that you blew me away with each stanza, and I'm not just saying it for saying it. The repetition to me seemed to not work, but if I take a look at each stanza and the way I interpret them, it's really good.

Here is how the stanzas arranged makes more sense to me If I read them. Going from a tone sort of angrish tone to more subtle. But as I said, this is only my suggestion and my opinion. You are free to take it into consideration or not.

This Rollerblade cant cut deep enough
Its stained with so much guilt
Its crooked with lasting ridges
to all the kindness I seem to scuff
and all these small intentions
destroying the house my mother built
I'm sorry I burned by bridges

Pass the gasoline and burn them down
saying sorry one by one
From the top this old ocean town
I am ending what I had begun
This city sleeps and I hear its whisper
lullabies to keep my awake
This city dies in fire enchanted
from the ashes of I take

And now the end
the last song
the last poem
this is my goodbye
and now this pain
the last cut
the last burn
This is my goodbye

And in time when my blood stops flowing
will I meet Him, the creator and knowing
my sins run deep and inside i weep
I cant seem to figure out where I'm going
I lost direction and on further inspection
I could have been a better son
I could have been will be the death of me
Whats worse than one is none
because the many shades of black are all I see

I could have been a better lover
never letting you in
And when you left me all alone
seems that's where all this pain begins
from the very marrow of my bones
you see this thing with feelings
Ive never really figured them out
I just trace the shadows on the ceiling
So take this cry for help as my shout
you see I am really not okay
I feel like I am half way in the grave
and maybe i will live to see the day
where this time its you that I can save.

--- the way, I picture is that your sins are in relation to the pass me the gasoline, and then you trying to cut or rather you did, and so you are agonizing towards the end and while you are in that state you are thinking about the I could have been, then you figure out why you did what you did, and it was because of your love for that girl, that she left you, and at the end it shows a bit of a hope.. that perhaps you could live, just live to save her.

Was I too way off?
See, 5/5