Metamorphosis

Jenni I love this piece! I love the idea of morphing into something else, as we are always and forever changing.

Tonight I will morph
and my pale, yet smooth skin
will radiate moonbeams,
that will embosom your heart.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I love what you wrote in this stanza - the image of your beautiful smooth skin radiating moonbeams - oh what an image.

Loved it!!!

x

I added this to my favorites, it's amazing. :)

To me, it's perfect so I have nothing to criticize, so I will just praise it! These 3 stanzas are amazzzzzzing! :)
"Tonight I will morph
and my pale, yet smooth skin
will radiate moonbeams,
that will embosom your heart.

Avoid my eyes if I happen
to curl my auburn hair
around fingertips.

Though nothing will seduce
you like my lips, beware
unless you want to taste
temptation just like
Adam and Eve;"

Excellent job jenni

Typos: sixth stanza, one liner, 'punishtment' is supposed to be 'punishment.' Just trying to help :)

I believe the subject of this poem was that you were in a house of mirrors and you had to write a poem about what you see? I have to admit that this prompt was quite interesting...

After I have researched this, I find this poem very fascinating because I actually understand what is going on. The only stanza that I have a problem with is this one:

'In artifical light
you rip, advisedly
and as tactless
as you are,
and bunk the moths,
the dreamers wings.'

^ Because I do not understand what you are trying to convey here. I am utterly clueless sometimes, so I imagine that it is just me. Are you talking about yourself here, or something completely different? I don't really find anything physical mentioned, but this is probably a metaphor for something, so it could be anything :/ Hmmmm...buggers.

Also another thing that I thought would be worth mentioning is that this line here:

'the punishtment: a leap in the dark.'

^ Doesn't really go together. From reading your poem, I would not say it would be a 'punishment,' I would say that it would be a risk. However, that is what I believe.

So, from what I understand, I believe that you are praising your skin, your hair, and your lips? I like that you chose these three things because they need care to look beautiful and this shows that you care for yourself :D I really hope that did not sound creepy...

I'm sorry that the contest was postponed. You did a beautiful job here.

Excellent
5/5

Just wonderful, eoic, mesmerising........i will have to comment another time.....gob-smacked, i love it!