Paint the wall Red

Dont walk my way,
I dont want to talk today,
I got Afgan on the mind,
And I feel Im about to loose my way,
Didnt ask for this life,
Too many times I have toyed with the knife,
Just trying to make the memories go away,
Ive beome violent to everything I love,
All it takes is alittle shove,
And FLASH Im in the dessert,
Wondering if home is far away,
Packing the .40, Tali wont leave me alone,
All I ever wanted to do was go home,
Now that Im here its all the same,
I went home and the memories fallowed,
I cant tell you about all the pills Ive swallowed,
Everyday I wonder if Ill go back again,
Wake up wondering why all this is happening,
All the things my country ask from me,
19 years been twisted up,
Been in longer then some soldiers been alive,
I was just 18 when I took the dive,
Now life can never be normal,
Everybody trying to be so formal,
I remember killing that kid,
Not that Im proud of it,
But he was praying so loud,
Running toward my battle,
That bullet was so loud,
I didnt know what to do,
I reacted like BOOM!
Never try to get inside a soldiers head,
Its twisted up with all the dead,
They never ask for help but instead,
He tries to forget by pounding a 40 to the head,
When that fails he puts a .40 in his mouth,
And swallows 9 mils to the head,
Painting his wall red,
But it dosnt matter he found some peace at last,
Becouse the war finally put in his past,